What shall we do with a crazy birther?

Today is September 19, International Talk Like a Pirate Day1, arrrrrr. And so mateys, in recognition of that day I introduce a nautical-themed contest, to come up with the best one-line answer to the question:

What shall we do with a crazy birther,
What shall we do with a crazy birther,
What shall we do with a crazy birther,
Early in the mornin’?

The tune is from the song “What shall we do with a drunken sailor” as heard in the video below. The Wikipedia article has many answers to the drunken sailor question. What’s your solution for a crazy birther? My entry is:

Strap him in a chair at Orly’s office.

Arrrrrr.

 


1Real pirates are hardly the loveable miscreants  immortalized by the Disney song “Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A pirates life for me” and they are no laughing matter. They cruelly prey on the weak and strong alike, spreading fear and death over many parts of the world.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
This entry was posted in Birthers, Contests, Foolery and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to What shall we do with a crazy birther?

  1. Sudoku says:

    Make him watch loops of Mario’s hearings.

  2. G says:

    Now that’s cruel…

    Sudoku:
    Make him watch loops of Mario’s hearings.

  3. Sudoku says:

    :mrgreen:

    G: Now that’s cruel…

  4. Daniel says:

    Send him to Obama’s inauguration.

  5. insomnia says:

    Sanction her for lots of dollars, sanction her for lots of dollars,
    every case she files!

  6. foreigner says:

    am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

  7. bob j says:

    smile and nod when the judge gives sanctions

  8. richCares says:

    “Strap him in a chair at Orly’s office”
    no
    Let him Strap Orly in a chair at Orly’s office (ala ce3)

  9. LW says:

    keuwwwwww…

    (It’s still Tuesday here)

  10. Slartibartfast says:

    “Tie him to his words and let them drown him”

  11. Steal his IPad and his wallet
    Steal his Ipad and his wallet
    Steal his Ipad and his wallet
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Use it to make a threat at the White House
    Use it to make a threat at the White House
    Use it to make a threat at the White House
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Use his card to buy some ammo
    Use his card to buy some ammo
    Use his card to buy some ammo
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Put it all back before he wakes up
    Put it all back before he wakes up
    Put it all back before he wakes up
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Video tape the Secret Service
    Video tape the Secret Service
    Video tape the Secret Service
    Ear-li in the morning!

    Sit back and watch while it goes viral
    Sit back and watch while it goes viral
    Sit back and watch while it goes viral
    Ear-li in the morning!

    One less birther on Internet
    Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!

    Squeeky Fromm
    Girl Reporter

  12. Majority Will says:

    foreigner:
    am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

    ignorieren die Narren

  13. The Magic M says:

    foreigner: am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

    Nothing beats a double negative. Oder meintest du das ironisch? 😉

  14. roadburner says:

    beat him round the head with a book by vattel

  15. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:

    Well, if it’s talk like a pirate day, I need to fill up on rum.

  16. misha says:

    foreigner: am besten einfach gar nicht ignorieren

    Hak mir nit in kopf!

  17. RuhRoh says:

    Ask if he believes in the lunar landing,
    Why he still doesn’t comprehend standing,
    What do courts mean by remanding,
    Early in the mornin’

  18. Paul Pieniezny says:

    Tie him to a swift boat till he wakes up

  19. Jim says:

    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    On a slow boat through China

  20. (2nd verse)
    Slap him in the face with a holy mackerel
    Slap him in the face with a holy mackerel
    Slap him in the face with a holy mackerel
    Orly will be mourning…

  21. Jim says:

    Well, I’m no Squeeky, but let me see how this works

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Kansas tossed them on their ear

    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    Send them to Kenya and make them British
    On a slow boat through China

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Jersey said it’s clear

    They live in a hut with no power
    Live in a hut with no power
    Live in a hut with no power
    Internet no longer theirs

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Georgia said they’re weird

    Herding cattle with no shoes
    Herding cattle with no shoes
    Herding cattle with no shoes
    They stepped in their case again

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Indiana tossed them on their rear

    Dysentery is in their blood
    Dysentery is in their blood
    Dysentery is in their blood
    No toilet or TP to be found

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Florida sent them off with bad cheer

    No ac or running water
    No ac or running water
    No ac or running water
    They will live in misery

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Mississippi is their fear

    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Yo-Ho the losses keep mounting
    Obama will be President next year!

  22. The Magic M says:

    This reminds me how we sang a spoof German version of the song back in school.
    For example “hooray and up she rises” was changed to the phonetically equal “Hure auf Abschiedsreise” (“whore on her farewell tour”). 😉

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