Join Obama Conspiracy Theories’ coverage of the shattering of the Universe this week.
I for one have mixed feelings about seeing it go. There’s a lot of suffering in the Universe, but I will miss BBQ.
March is over. Oops.
Join Obama Conspiracy Theories’ coverage of the shattering of the Universe this week.
I for one have mixed feelings about seeing it go. There’s a lot of suffering in the Universe, but I will miss BBQ.
March is over. Oops.
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I’m betting the universe doesn’t shatter. Wish I knew how to find a bookie to start taking odds, but alas, I’m not that kind of girl. LOL
I’m going to miss my wife’s fried chicken.
And my satellite TV.
I feel compelled to dust this one off:
Very nice screenshot, Doc! The Deeply Concerned Expression of Super Sincerity is Salesman Zullo at his best. I wonder how often he practices that in the mirror? 😀
Only 9 days til Fools’ Day 😉
_______________________
Soooo … are the birther calendar seems to be running awful dry. I hope those last few dangling frivolous lawsuits … and the mid-terms … can tide them over until the next Presidential election cycle starts up.
I never got my hoverboard, so the universe can go shatter itself.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/n6RoOwSKI7M?autoplay=1
Just because something shatters doesn’t mean that its gone forever.
All Zullo’s horses and all Arpaio’s men
Can glue the universe back together again.
Pretty easy. I can stream FNC from their web site and I use Microsoft One Note to capture the image.
You forgot to add, “And send money!”
The expression on Zullo’s face is awesome. You can sure tell that he is very, very distressed over this. LOL.
This seems the appropriate place for a Douglas Adams Quote:
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
I thought I would include some choice entries as they appear at BR this week:
I remember when Skylab was falling back in ’79. I was working at a power plant on the Arkansas River and one of the foremen, I believe in electrical, glued some spring nuts onto his hard hat and painted “Skylab Patrol” on it. It was a big plant, with a great big coal yard and access to the river, and we had these little Honda three-wheelers to get around on. He was tearing all over the place, having a ball patrolling for Skylab.
It wasn’t Skylab that came down on him like a ton of bricks, though.
I think Zullo is going to miss his Crown Vic.
If the universe shatters, and nobody notices…does it really shatter?
If Zullo has a news conference, and the press doesn’t care…is it really a news conference?
If Gallups claims he in on the secret, and everybody knows he’s full of it…is it a scam?
If Zullo is running an official investigation, and everybody laughs at his wacky conclusions, isn’t that comedy instead?
Questions, questions, questions…
Is holding them to their own deadline (pre-goalpost-moving) an Aliskyite Tactic? Because, as we know, those are Just Not Fair.
Nice one Doc.
Did you see the idiotic video that Mike Shoesmith posted at ppsimmons? It turns out that these embedded undercover investigations sometimes take up to ten years. Obama will be out of office in 2024! I don’t seem to recall any undercover investigations where the LEO went on radio every week and talked about it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmrRTdkPmMg
Lots of examples…..hours and hours of them in fact: http://www.otrcat.com/gang-busters-p-1305.html
I can just see Zullo tooling around in his Crown Vic listening to CD’s of these programs……Dragnet, Gang Busters and, best of all, Tales of the Texas Rangers!
You don’t need a POST certificate if you’ve listened to these shows!
ed from w. va. what source did you hear this information from and which friday and date ?
Jente: I can’t disclose the source . . . but it put up a horrible, loud and messy fight as I tried to flush it down the toilet.
Fixed it.
Oh, come on guys. Every “criminal investigation,” done by a, “legitimate law enforcement agency,” has involved video production, scripting, and voice over work performed by an outsider of the investigation while coordinating the timing of the release of their information with news sources and other interested groups so that it can have the greatest impact with a slow news day. These things take time.
Obviously the weight of evidence is dependent on how many people report it and not on the actual evidence itself, which could easily be missed should any other national or world event overshadow its release.
I am dying to see what he will pull out of his… ahem, cough…hat’
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmrRTdkPmMg
Thanks for the tip, RC! That’s the smarmiest performance by a Birther I can ever recall watching!
The Urban Dictionary (dotcom) defines “smarmy” in a way that Mike Shoesmith epitomizes in that video.
Definition: “A certain attitude often accompanied by a squinty look and a superior smile that makes you instantly hate a person.”
Try to imagine the degree of disregard he feels for the idiots who find the message of his video sensible or EVEN COMPELLING!
It’s the same demeaning approach he would make in explaining to a five year old daughter, why he hasn’t gotten her the pony he said he would get for her two years ago.
“Honey, I want that pony just as much as you do but the pony-fairy hasn’t finished making him yet, and, we don’t want a one-legged pony that never goes anywhere, just because Daddy hoped to bring that pony home sooner, DO WE?
On the one hand, Honey, I’m like, HEY, I want that pony RIGHT NOW, gosh-darn it. I’ve waited long enough and it was supposed to be here in March.
But then I remembered hearing about how some people waited YEARS, a whole LIFE-TIME even for their pony, and it turned out to be a MAGIC PONY, and well worth waiting for!
The important thing is that we get that pony when he’s all there, be it in March of this year, or June, or December, or next year, or five years from now, or a decade from now or a century from now when we are all dead and gone, right, Honey?”
There are a number of very serious-sounding comments at BR on the article, “Full Audio: Sheriff Joe Obama Investigator; Press Conferences Coming; Alabama Obama Ruling.”
Here’s a favorite:
Looks like Andre is hoping for the Universe not to shatter. Well, good intentions there.
And then there’s
I think BirtherPro has it backwards. The more news outlets that know about it, the more complete the debunking. Perhaps “debunked” doesn’t mean what BirtherPro thinks it does.
And one that I’m having a hard time replying to:
This one touches on a common idea:
From BR:
What’s confusing is that the same commenter previously said:
It sounds like he is criticizing himself. But Falcon to the rescue:
So has any birther ever published any inside anti-birther information? It’d be fascinating if they did, but I don’t recall it happening.
Maybe I should make some private threads to make it easier for us to be ratted out.
In this case it means “ignore”. I can’t imagine any assignment editor in Phoenix wasting a crew and reporter sending them to another Cold Case Posse news conference. Yawn!
If they’re smart (I know, I know) they’ll put it on the web and hope it gets exposure beyond World Net Daily and the Daily Mirror.
Me thinks “thad” is putting everyone on. Though there do seem to be a large number of folks who are itching to hang anyone they can get their mitts on.
Wait until they find the wreckage of Malaysia 370 and the coverage goes crazy……in the next week. Coincidence? Ha!
Yeah, about that . . . I tried to use my password, “obot4evuh” and I got sent to a birther porn site! Yeah, it was kind of a turn on, but still!
Maybe Colbert will cover it (assuming there is anything to cover).
I’m hoping for a double header……Colbert and John Stewart.
The Universe shatters in just over a week? Oh, dear. Where does the time go?
Does anyone have peanuts? We’ll all need three pints of bitter each, too. I’m really not looking forward to Vogon poetry.
By drink Ford Prefect meant alcohol. ‘The Encyclopedia Galactica’ describes alcohol as a colourless, volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms. ‘The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. The effect of which is like “having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one, and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate.
Maybe not an actual reply, but this is all I can come up with:
Comment from Billie Holiday
Comment from Nina Simone (very NSFW)
No, Dr. C… You won’t.
Yeah, when there’s nothing left but coyotes and cockroaches, they’ll be BBQing each other. Hard times is how things like that get started.
The last weather report you’ll ever need:
I just realized that The Weather Channel issues a weather forecast that extends beyond the shattering of the universe. Of course, universe shattering is probably not considered in their models.
Our last day looks pretty nice: mostly sunny with a high of 73 F.
You got sent to the birther porn site too? Man, that Orly Taitz is a contortionist.
And that calls for some brain bleech…
I prefer this one, slightly adapted for the birther situation:
“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly [why Obama is ineligible and presents proof of it to the world], [the universe] will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
So can I: “It’s gonna be a cold day in Hell.” 😉
I’m stopping doing laundry now – figure I’ve got enough underwear to last until the Shatttering. What’s everyone palnning to wear on the big day, other than clean underpants of course? I figure it’s a white tie and tails event at the very least.
I have unpacked and cleaned my pale-green double-knit polyester leisure suit for the occasion – an appropriate attire to honor the good work of Mr. Zullo and his Cold Cream Posse.
Damn, I’ll be in Brazil when it all happens, oh well, better try and work out what way to fritter away my last few days in the Universe….Suggestions..?
I hear it’s amazing what she can do with a motorized dental chair, a bowling ball, some floss and a suction tube. Allegedly.
This wouldn’t all be a set up for an April Fools’ Day article, would it? 🙂
At least if you want service at my “Restaurant at the End of the Universe” where birthers will be able to relive the shattering every night.
Special program for your entertainment: a Donald Trump impersonator will fire a Barack Obama impersonator impersonator at 10 p.m.
Please leave one chair at your table empty in honour of President Orly Taitz.
No Kenyan Kredit Kards or World Nut Dollars allowed.
Bring your own birth certificate.
We have layers of entertainment!
Bah-humbug! You all can go to the restaurant at the edge of the universe…but it will still be shattered too. I’ve got my ACME Dimension Transporter all fired up and ready to go. See you all in the 5th dimension…at the new Age of Aquarius! 😀
Now, I was gonna wait and surprise you, but I went ahead and put a penny deposit down, for each of you! So we all eat free!
I see what you did there 😉
Thank doG! I was worried it was too old for this board!!! 😆
I’ve never been Catholic, does this mean Lent is over?
Time to say “So long and thanks for all the fish?”
You’re among similarly aged humans.
Dear Kommandante Zullo
Could you please postpone your upcoming shattering of the universe until after the NCAA tournament is over? I can still win the bracket pool here at DARPA if Louisville goes all the way. Your cooperation would be appreciated.
Regards,
Professor Richard Randy Rockwell Daniels
Don’t worry about it. Louisville might make the four, but if they do, the beatdown Arizona will give them will be universe shattering.
It’s not that.
I had been playing around with a suicide note for April Fools Day, but I decided that there was nothing cute I could do with that concept, and abandoned the idea.
No. What I did was to give up
argumentconfrontation at BR for Lent. I still visit and make a rare informational comment, like providing a link somebody asks for.Lent’s not over until Easter Sunday, which is April 20.
Smart man.
I’m not good at that kind of writing but I have a vision of a birther at the Birther Bar trying to drown his/her sorrows….cursing the fate that has befallen their valiant effort to save America because no one would listen…….no one would listen……………
Scanning recent comments at BR I get the impression that anticipation of Zullo’s Big March Release has plummeted. The bottom has pretty much fallen out.
And once again, their hope has been replaced with deep, burning anger.
Feels good man.
Speaking of Joe Arpaio…..he may be hoping the universe is nearing an end after today’s hearing before Federal Judge C. Murray Snow in Phoenix.
Judge Snow handed Arpaio and his number two guy their butts…..in public. Arpaio kept his mouth shut in court but #2 Jerry Sheridan had to stand in the well for his tongue lashing……………..
http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2014/03/joe_arpaio_jerry_sheridan_span.php
If these guys keep this up the judge will sanction them and expand the role of his monitor to cover everything in the department.
People still mentioning the March promise are called Obots, likely by Zullo’s and the admin’s sock puppets.
Always darkest before the dawn. 😉
Yes, obviously anyone gauche enough to hold birfers accountable to their own statements is clearly the enemy. 🙄
Fair enough. Followers of particular prophecies usually do get their own name, just so everyone else can discuss them with some level of precision. I admit that it does sound a little odd to call themselves ‘Obots’ though.
For example, people who mention the prophecy of Charles Taze Russel and Joseph F. Rutherford are usually called ‘Jehovah’s Witness’, and they are still carrying on today, even though their various deadlines for TEOTWAWKI came and went. It would be odd if they were called ‘mainstream Christians’.
The Millerites morphed into the Seventh Day Adventists. The Mormon’s survived Joseph Smith’s end times prophecy.
I see no reason why the birthers (and everyone else) shouldn’t survive the Universe Shattering fail.
And it’s right on the front page of the Arizona Republic today. 🙂
Didn’t see it in the New Times story but the Republic piece says Judge Snow has proposed removing the Sheriff from the mandated community liaison committee and replacing him with…….the Judge’s monitor.
http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/2014/03/24/arpaio-chief-deputy-appear-district-court/6833085/
If Arpaio doesn’t get that message he’s likely to end up with nothing to do at his own department.
His conduct yesterday is classic Arpaio: He didn’t say a word in court. Let his subordinate take all the arrows (Remember Dave Hendershott?) and then blustered for the press once he was out of court.
Personally, I’m enjoying the dynamic between the Peoples’ Front for Birfering and the Birfering Peoples’ Front.
SPLITTERS!!!!!!
If he opens his mouth, he’s good a good chance at screwing up his gubernatorial campaign.
I’ll believe it when I see his name on the primary ballot. I think he has another couple months to get that done.
I think he will not be able to resist the idea of running, especially now that Jan Brewer has cleared the way for him.
I haven’t seen any statewide poll numbers, have you?
The last Rocky Mountain Poll on Arpaio was last summer and limited to Maricopa County. At that point his approval rating had declined to just 37%. I doubt it has gone up since then.
In the past he never polled as well outside Maricopa County as he did in and I doubt that has changed either.
None of the announced candidates seems to be exciting voters with most of them in single digits in a recent poll.
Arpaio would certainly stir things up and I would never bet against him.
Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to support your side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.
If they do, they have never presented it to the public.
Of course they do. They have lots of evidence, and by next Monday they’ll let us all know what it is.
The problem with your comment is that you provide no reason for me to believe it–not even a reason why you believe it.
The Posse has held three press conferences and released some reports, ALL of which are amateurish and wrong. Why would any rational person believe that what they come up with in the future will fundamentally different from what they have come up with in the past?
As for this article, it’s not propaganda–it’s satire.
Only a handful of birthers believe this material has any truth to it. That’s why it’s ridiculed, that’s why it cannot be used in court, and that’s why Zullo and company will never do anything but make empty promises.
Now, Dave we both know that due to the extraordinary circumstances of Lt. Zullo’s investigation–which as you know, is now a CRIMINAL investigation, and one so secret that the MCSO denies any involvement–the release date could be pushed to April . . . or May . . . or June . . . or Mike may decide that, to do the most good, his report should be published as an e-book. As people who have never run such an important or comprehensive investigation, it behooves us not to second guess the man who is at the center of it all.
Wow, I can’t believe I typed all that without throwing up.
Karl Gall Oops! (wailing siren in background) :”Hi, Listeners, Karl Gall Oops! here on the Pee Pee Summons Rodeo Nutwork with a public service bulletin. This is A TEST of the Mike Zoo Low Universe Shattering Obama Criminal Investigation Announcement Network.
THIS is only A TEST! If this had been an actual announcement of Universe Shattering evidence, it would have been preceded by donation-soliciting instructions telling you how to tune in our emergency backup sister-network, the Poo Poo Summons Rodeo Nutwork, broadcasting from a secure location in the bowels of Commandermandermander, Mike Zoo Low’s backyard Obama-tracking Tree House. When that decade, year, and day comes, stay tune for information about how you can purchase from our ministry, a factory reconditioned portion of the Universe in which to survive and plan the Citizen’s Grand Jury Capital Crime Trial of Obama.
Check this time every year here for updates on when the actual Universe Shattering announcement MAY be made. Until then, you may point out to doubters, that the fact that the Universe remains unshattered, constitutes absolute proof that the irrefutable Obama ruining evidence we had ALREADY GATHERED by March of 2014, not only EXISTS but HAS NOT BEEN ANNOUNCED by us yet.
This concludes this test of the Mike Zoo Low Universe Shattering Obama Criminal Investigation Announcement Network, celebrating 10 years of extra-legal Obama stalking in association with the Promise Creepers. Thank you.”
Saul is mentally preparing himself for another disappointment when the Cold Case Posse fails to ‘deliver the goods’.
Then what Saul?
If they have the facts, evidence and testimony, where is it? Tick tock…
Face the only fact in evidence: March came in like Zullo’s lyin’ and is gonna go out like a sham.
University of Phoenix stadium is not available in March. With the world’s media involved, Zullo needs at least 60,000 seats for the universe shattering press conference. Can we just call it ‘rapture’? Maybe the stadium will be available in June if the O-bots will stop spending DARPA money to book it for job fairs and other phony events.
Zullo is not just the birthers’ last hope, he is also mine. My last hope that the birthers will become entertaining again. Because reading the same old crap recycled over and over has just gotten boring.
Mike Zullo, 14 months ago:
“The evidence that we have acquired — new-found evidence that we have never made public at any point in time, and we are not going to make public until we have the right opportunity — will convince even the greatest skeptic that this document is 100 percent a forgery.”
We’re still waiting for Zullo’s “right opportunity.”
“When this information is finally exposed to the public, it will be universe-shattering,” Mike Zullo told WND. “This is beyond the pale of anything you can imagine.” Zullo explained that because it’s an active investigation that could produce criminal charges, he’s unable to reveal details at the moment.But the allegations, he said, which go far beyond a fraudulent birth certificate, could be public as early as March.
– Bob Unruh, WND, 12/13/13
Or maybe as early as April, or May, or November. There is less than a week left in March.
Social security number of Obama is stolen. That is a fact. Birth certificate is a poorly done counterfeit. Another fact. Obama himself in his literary bio claims to have been born in Kenya . That also is a fact. Your side with Dan Rather fabricated Bush records , but you have no desire to learn about the real Obama. Even after election Bill Ayers admitted to lots of this after years of denial.
Are you a member of the Cold Case Posse, Seamus?
I highly recommend The Bugle podcast, hosted by John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman; every time Oliver makes a ridiculous, unsourced statement, he follows it with “that’s a FACT, Andy!” I’m sure that’s where Seamus stole this particular piece of comedy.
Facts. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Wrong. Obama’s SSN was never assigned to Harrison J. Bounel, Harry Bounel, or any other person. I would ask you show us some documented, admissible evidence that Obama’s SSN was stolen from someone else, but there isn’t any.
Incidentally, “Harrison J. Bounel” and “Harry Bounel” never existed.
Wrong again. All of the so-called anomalies in the PDF copy of the birth certificate were caused by the normal settings of a Xerox Workstation. That actually has been proven. No real expert has ever examined the birth certificate, which has been verified as authentic by the State of Hawaii.
Guess what? Wrong again. Obama had nothing to do with the “literary bio.” It was written by a publicist who never spoke to Obama and who has acknowledged that she made a mistake.
Birthers such as you have difficulty spotting sarcasm when it is staring you in the face. Everything which Bill Ayers said was tongue-in-cheek, and predictably many birthers fell for it. I dub thee Seamus the Gullible.
Since we don’t have any new info from Zullo, BR has posted a new video rehash of everything the CCP said before, assembled by Mike Volin and/or Pixel Patriot. It is entitled “Universe Shattering.” What else would it be titled.
The reason I bring this up is that I have a question. The video includes footage of Arpaio going full birther, and can anyone confirm my suspicion that all that footage is from about two years ago. As far as I know, Arpaio has made no public mention of this BS since then.
If Zullo ever does get around to holding a press conference, it will be interesting if Arpaio doesn’t even show up.
I really wish he’d get this universe shattering thing over with. Do I prep for Holy Week and Easter or do I just skip it. Widor doesn’t practice itself.
Your “facts” are made-up. 200+ court cases lost by your ilk. *sad trombone*
There is a story told about Martin Luther. When asked what he would do if he were certain the world was ending tomorrow, Luther replied, “plant a tree.”
Which Franchise?
I know it like:
“If I knew that the world would end tomorrow – today I would yet plant my appletree”.
One of my most appreciated maxims, even when I consider ML’s not very nice personality as documented in some of his writings about the peasants f.e.
If I were really, really sure I would plant some black walnut trees.
I have to confess: that comment went right over my head. So I did an Interwebs search on “biblical significance of black walnuts,” and found this article.
http://www.angels3bible.com/products/black-walnut-trees.html
“Today the Spirit of Truth has revealed to me how to realize more fully the potential yield, and to make this process so much easier. ”
Oy vey. How I recall this common religious tactic: presenting relatively common wisdom as tho it was a new revelation … even if its something common sense should readily reveal.
Yes, you soak nuts to soften before cracking. Just like grandma did.
And her grandma before that, and her grandma before that …
The point being that it takes 25 to 30 years for a black walnut tree to reach maturation. Planting one late in one’s life is an indication that you expect to live to a really ripe old age.
Thanks, Sef! Sheesh, sometimes my thick skull is as hard as a… as a… darn, I can’t think of a good simile.
So long, Zullo, and thanks for all the substandard fish…
I disagree. Most trees are planted for the generations to come. A concept not easy to understand in a society which foundation is the fast buck and “après nous, le deluge”…..
C’mon, no jokes about cracking soaked nuts?
What with the universe shattering in a few days, why not?
Today is the final March day for birthers, given that they usually set their hopes in Fridays and several have claimed the 28th because it also happens to coincide with SCOTUS’ (?) date for Strunk’s latest crapola.
Some peeps at Birther Report have already switched to “mid/late April” so I guess that’s gonna be the narrative for the next month, interspersed with some “but no later than May” anydaynowishness.
But I have faith Cark Zullups will announce a third, “multiverse-shatter-battering” investigation that will “comprise even more than just Obama and the US” and “convince even the deadest skeptic” that Connecticut and Hawaii are not the same state and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the US don’t have 57 states and that playing golf makes you gay.
You will just have to wait a few more months until they have all the VIP’s back off board and can finally unload the motherlode!
Stay tuned! And hit that donation button, mama needs a new pair of police SUV’s!
Gallups has been slowed to a trot.
Yesterday was the date for a conference on Strunk v. Paterson in New York Supreme Court (Brooklyn). The birthers were convinced that it was a hearing where momentous rulings were going to be made. In reality, there was no hearing and the lawsuit was simply adjourned to June 13.
On Monday Robert Laity will get the official notice that his hapless petition to SCOTUS has been denied. He has been told, but does not believe, that his petition was dead filed weeks ago.
I tried to tell Vogt that his petition has been dead filed, but it appears that I have been banned at BR.