The birthers pasted bad Photoshop images of people’s pictures (mine included) onto all kinds of things, many these days with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration logo. Who knew that DARPA operated the Wienermobile?
It wasn’t the likes of Gerbil Report™ poster Barry Soetoro, Esq. that created the first Obot/DARPA association. It was Mike Zullo who said almost a year ago that some anonymous Obot was tracked through their IP address to someplace that had a DARPA artificial intelligence project. Given that the alleged Obot is anonymous, presumably unknown to Mike Zullo, then if Zullo is not lying, it might be that somebody made an anti-birther comment from work, such as one of the many large corporations or universities that have DARPA contracts. It is rumored that birther web sites are cooperating in an IP address harvesting project and this might be fallout from that. In the alternative, it might just be a scam Dennis Montgomery was running on Sheriff Arpaio.
While the birthers tilt at DARPA windmills, they remain oblivious to the real challenge: the Obot Advanced Research Projects Administration (OARPA). OARPA is not part of the Military, but the Alternate Clandestine Service (TXE3) under Jim Johnson, run out of the White House.
I talked about my own role in OARPA, although I did not name the agency, in my article, “An Apology To Joe Mannix.”1 I used the made-up terminology, “DARPAbot” and tried to obscure some very large hints under the guise of satire. I have a high position (I won’t say the title) at OARPA in the Birther Advanced Research Facility (BARF). Internet service providers give OARPA a feed of selected data packets related to birther Internet activity, and we use some really advanced AI techniques to filter out the nonsense (99.9999%), and select the handful of dangerous comments.2
The reader might wonder why I would talk so openly about such a secret clandestine operation, and why now. It’s part of the plan. In addition to the technical means used by BARF, we also have our Psychological Warfare – Nutcase Elimination Division (PWNED) that has determined that birthers are nearing a meltdown largely due to the repeated delays from the Cold Case Posse, and the anxiety over the exponentially growing web of conspiracy they perceive (each conspiracy leads to a branch of new “connections”). They have come to believe in so many conspiracies all around them, that they are nearing a communal psychotic break. It is believed that the numbers of individuals who might be affected is so large that they would overwhelm our current mental health system, requiring mass institutionalization at government facilities, such as those of FEMA, and control using restraints and drugs. In a sense, this is a precision targeted extension of Cloward-Piven theory applied to the neutralization of birthers once and for all.
So birthers are invited to start digging into the information in this article and make new investigations, leading to increasing connections and newer conspiracies. The truth is out there.
1The Mannix character used proxy servers to obscure his real IP address, but that is no problem for OARPA, who easily tracked him to his home in [redacted] Louisiana. Since “Mannix” is a pseudonym, this note does not violate the site privacy policy.
2We aren’t believing the things we are finding.
3TXE – what self-respecting clandestine service would use its real initials?
One small nit to pick…
“Psychological Warfare Division (PWD)”
To better fit with the birthers should be
Psychological Warfare nutcase Division (PWnD)
Just my 2 cents…always a fun read Doc. Thanks! 😀
Brilliant. See update.
I was going to use your OBOT double-ought number, redacted, this morning, but I thought better of it.
And with this new Oarpa repulsor technology-based power armor, I’ll REALLY be able to make sure those damned kids stay off my lawn!
I’m always tremendously grateful for the funding I receive from OARPA each month. Otherwise how could I afford all these gerbils?
Be sure to pack them all up and send them to falcon after the President leaves office…along with a note for him
THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES
Thanks for the post-dinner laughs, Doc! PWNED by BARF—yikes!
Although my experience with them is about 50 years old, I’m pretty sure that it’s still the case that, as long as you pick their genders correctly, you only need to be able to afford two to get a continuing supply…
Gerbil Report is proud member of the following associations (some secret, some not):
* SCHNITZEL (Society Can Hide N-word Ineligibility Till Zullo Evidence Leaks)
* SAUERKRAUT (Socialist Alien Usurper Exposed, Roots of Kenyan Revealed, Alert Underground Troops)
* OBOT (Obot Brigade Official Treason) [recursive acronym, may cause birfer brain to explode]
Oh Doc, you may (or may not) be happy to see that even BirtherReport himself has finally called out BS Extreme for his infatuation with you as a real Doc, Dr Chris Kaufmann.
http://www.birtherreport.com/2015/01/rush-limbaugh-obama-is-one-of-most.html
BirtherReport 91p · 6 hours ago
You’re truly nuts if you believe they are the same person…..
Must you spam every thread with the same absurd images? It’s getting pretty old… There’s plenty of other forums you can discuss those issues that have nothing to do Obama’s background/eligibility…
I left this comment over there:
I’ve heard of conspiracy nuts trying to connect the dots, but this is a case of trying to connect the beards.
Some years ago, I stumbled upon the website of an anti-Semitic “NWO conspiracy” nut who literally believed that about half of the German population was part of a conspiracy against the other half. (He essentially considered almost every Christian a secret Jew and part of the International Jewish Conspiracy [tm].)
So it’s not as if conspiracy nuts would stop at some point of their theory involving enormous numbers of people. And as their state of mind deteriorates, many might end up believing everyone is in on it but them. However those typically are locked away in the booby hatch. 😉
Can someone fill me in on the thought process of BR? Where’s the “line” of going “too far” with him? Libel seems to be perfectly okay over there. Sicking Falcon on Scott was okay. The spam not involving Doc C. and SH seems to be okay. When an Obot posts over there, what’s the criteria used to decide whether they’re allowed to post or not? Why has BR been calling out BSE when he’s Falcon’s “favorite poster?”
The most telling fact for me personally is how he is supposedly too busy to check “every comment,” yet, he sure does know how to selectively go through particular comments and weed out the ones he doesn’t like. Also worth mentioning is how BR has said on multiple occasions how he will “not play referee,” but, has indeed done so repeatedly.
Who knows what goes on in his mind. I have only had a shallow experience with BR until this year, when I spent more time reading comments. What I have found that there is much anti-birther, and fact-based commentary. I don’t know if BR has eased up on censorship or not. I do know that in the past there was more substantive discussion and more research posted, and that has been driven out by SirenDrake, RamboIke, Barry Soetoro, Esq and RS1_ who have turned the discussion into a nasty school-yard brawl.
I think the line that BSE crossed was his making BR look goofy. I also think that BR feels that false-flag conspiracy theories threaten to take over his site, and dilute the birther message that he hammers on every page.
It also may be about advertising revenue. If people get disgusted, traffic goes down, and with it the cash flow.
Doc C. seems to be the only obot allowed to post there and have their stuff stay up. None of my stuff has ever been allowed to stay.
GR could more accurately be described as an anti-Doc site atm – his comments are the only thing driving traffic there.
It’s definitely the only reason I read the comments at that site, though it can be hard to watch the natives interact with normal, rational humans.
Their crazy assertions and predictions and their attempts at logic are so awkward and helpless.
It’s almost like watching a baby get punched in the face.
They really have developed a fascinating symbiotic relationship over there.
Doc stops by, occaisionally points out a factual error in a patient, courteous way, and what ensues is always ‘you always lie … you are a fag … gerbil gerbil gerbil.’
It seldom varies. And the tribe over there can’t honestly believe that they are winning any arguments.
They see Doc as a wizard to be hated and feared, and when he comes by and greets them, they perform their totemistic ritual.
Ain’t it quite the coincidence, that the day BSE is told to knock it off, Falcon seemingly is nowhere to be found either? Hmmm…
The Gerbil Report is a safe place for the moderately mentally ill to get in some quality play therapy time before the nurses call down for cookies, milk and medication.
That characterizes most of the interactions, although I do occasionally become impolite, as when I called RamboIke an asshole just recently.
i noticed that too. i don’t think they are sockpuppets but i wouldn’t doubt that falcon’s absence is directly related to BSE’s most recent spanking.
i’ve got to say, the GR thread does make for a better read without the wonder twins.
je suis gerbil
Time for a new pic Doc! 😀
You mean he aint?!
I gotta use that!
Sarcastically I hope! ‘Gerbil’ in French is ‘gerbille’ … but going with that would probably confuse the inmates at BR. Have’em wondering why Doc Wizard keeps rambling about a grille of some kind.
Vous etes super-gerbil!!!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CoA8eT02n58/UQ34zycpU_I/AAAAAAAAOSU/bQaU5Gf8Wqs/s320/Funny+Gerbils_7.jpg
Sorry, that is a very bewildered guinea pig.
Guinea Pigs are more awesome anyway.
Did you know that if you hold a guinea pig up in the air by its tail, its eyes will fall out? True story.