“I’m not a real doctor, but I have a Masters Degree, in science!”
As the blog rapidly approaches it’s 7th anniversary, I am reminded that at one time there was a page on this site with a list of absurd-sounding degrees for Dr. Conspiracy, one degree I remember was from the Universidad de Motor Taxi in Lima, Peru. The page was lost in the reorganization of the site long ago, but it represented the whimsical nature of the “Dr. Conspiracy” character’s name. (Today the “About Dr. Conspiracy page” has a straightforward statement of my academic and professional history in real life.)
While I respect academic achievement, I also know that there are some with advanced degrees who lack the good sense that God gave rocks. Credentials amount to a presumption of competence in my book, but I expect more if I am going to adopt what someone says into my “store of facts.” And of course someone with a doctorate in one field, may not know squat about another field. Dr. Ben Carson comes to mind, as does investment advice from Dr. Jerome Corsi. I take a dim view of someone who uses an unearned or irrelevant “Dr.” in front of their real name in order to make them seem more credible.
Michael Shermer writes in his book, The Believing Brain, that the popular notion that smart people are less prone to believing “weird things” than dumb people, is a myth. He says:
…smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for nonsmart reasons.
When I was in high school, a fellow preached at our church saying something about some strain of influenza being a Chinese Communist plot. So afterwards I asked him for some evidence. He took my name and address, ostensibly to send me the proof, but what I got was his newsletter for years, addressed to Rev. N. W. Davidson.
For two decades I participated in the graduation ceremonies at Clemson University, where I led the singing of the school’s Alma Mater, at least twice a year. During that time I saw a great many honorary degrees bestowed with words about lifetime achievement, although most didn’t sound that impressive. The closest I ever got to an honorary degree was when one of the newly-installed Clemson presidents introduced me as “professor of music.”
I used to get pizza a rather good place near where I lived, Real Pizza. I’d call in the order and leave my name. The owner who was operating the drive through window always called me “Dr. Davidson.” I asked him why he did that, and he said that I looked like a professor. Later when I went by and talked to someone else, they said he called everybody “Doctor.” 😆
According to Barry Soetoro, Esq., I may actually be a medical doctor whose real name is Chris Kaufmann, and in addition I could be William David Sanders, who died at the Columbine shooting. (I was once denied credit because I was deceased, but that is another story.)
I downplay my own very real honorary juris doctor degree. One of the reasons that I have done so is that up until now is that I couldn’t find the darned certificate. Heh, I should have looked in the filing cabinet in the folder labeled “Certificates.” 😳 So here are a my credentials, and you can click on it to get the official PDF version.
And in all honesty, I will stack that degree up against any honorary degree from a non-accredited school in the country. It represents (well I hope it does) recognition by my peers of my body of work online. I have learned a lot about the law since I began this blog, and I have also gotten a glimpse of how much I do not know about the law, so I take this opportunity to congratulate Mike Dunford who just recently took his oath as a real attorney in Hawaii. Well done Mike, well done! Mike’s achievement should be an object lesson to what can be accomplished in the time birthers that have wasted on trying to remove an elected President for spurious reasons and by unconstitutional means.
I don’t think that “Dr. Conspiracy” misleads anyone about my real-life credentials. It’s supposed to be just a snappy character name, like “Dr. Doom, ” “Dr. Horrible”, “Dr. Demento,” or “Dr. Evil.” In the beginning I posted under the default WordPress 
user name, “admin,” but that seemed so “generic” that I cast about for some nom de Internet as a substitute and came up with “Dr. Conspiracy,” inspired by Dr. Science of the Ducks Breath Mystery Theater, who always gave the disclaimer: “I’m not a real doctor, but I have a Master’s Degree… in science!”
Read more:
I don’t know Doc, how many layers does the pdf of your certificate have?
I scanned it with Acrobat, so I’m thinking it would be 2.
Dr. Chris Kaufman – doppelganger or separated at birth?
Well then, since 2^3 = 8 it is clear that your JD is 1/3 as forged as President Obama’s is. Trust me, I’m a doctor of the maffs.
I’ll never admit in public the trigonometry mistake I made a few weeks back at Habitat. Let’s just say that after it was cut, it really didn’t fit. The guy with the PhD pointed out my mistake.
On cyber-Monday, I’m cyber-hoping that cyber-Doc Conspiracy can take a cyber-look at ths cyber-rash that I have on my cyber-arm.
FWIW from a lurker, Doc, I have always suspected that you are the post-fake-death new identity of the late author, mystic, and simultaneous skeptic and conspiracy theorist, Dr. Robert Anton Wilson, who once stated, “I don’t *believe* in anything, but I have many *suspicions*” (1)
See pic here: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VKRAY3t1L-o/hqdefault.jpg
(1) No, I don’t really suspect this, but I have entertained the notion at various times.
Too much hair.
Well, you certainly earned the honorary degree.
I’m afraid the specialty is not in a subfield of law that pays very well, though
I have a herniated disc that needs surgery. And I would trust you over Ben Carson, any day. Let me know when you have an opening.
I also have been told that I look like William David Sanders, particularly the middle photo of him. I also once lived less than a mile from Columbine High School. Coincidence?
When I was in college my History professor encouraged me to submit an essay I had written (about a conspiracy theory film, “Executive Action”) to a history journal. They sent me a very nice rejection letter which addressed me as “Dear Professor.”
And my father was a real medical doctor.
@Doc [Michael Shermer writes in his book, The Believing Brain, that the popular notion that smart people are less prone to believing “weird things” than dumb people, is a myth. He says:
…smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for nonsmart reasons.]
Really enjoyed your article. . and appreciate ALL your hard work. There’s degrees of time and yours I hope are honored properly.
I know you have a great deal of honorary respect from those who know you. Much easier to give to someone you know? Perhaps: but it’s also conversely true a prophet hath no honor in his own town.
I learned a lot in Prison about “judgement”. I know a lot of good people who have a lot of good miles left on the treads in there.
One thing I learned was not to judge someone in there by the crime they were in there on. Didn’t matter.. It was over.
Everyday forward was a new day ahead with the character they wanted remembered in their past. That has helped me extend my hand to you in friendship.
The rewards of that are nice and I’ve enjoyed your intelligence as well as everyone’s whose contributed in so many ways I’ve been aloud as a guest.
“What’s the best way you know to destroy your enemy?”, or something to that affect, President Abraham Lincoln was asked in debate.
Make him your Friend, Lincoln reported.
What a novel idea!
Sometimes it’s hard… Really hard.. we get joseled out of our comfort zone. Change isn’t always easy. .even though it’s happening every second. We sometimes try to defy time by routine.
Just wanted to report that I believe your a very kind man and that your talents, Intel, determination, and desire for truth I feel are very grounded in reality. I admire you for these.
I believe with these attributes that you make America Stronger.
Thank You for that.
HAT TIP to you.
CRJ
Except how to spell it.
If Judy wishes to not be judged for his past actions, he should start to be honest about them.
Who is more likely to stab you: the murder lifer or the person with six months left for insurance fraud?
Maybe he’s secretly British?
I always use the British spellings (colour, travelling) since that’s what’s being taught in Europe.
IOW they are better at rationalizing non-rational decisions (as in “Why did I buy this thing I don’t really need?”).
Another psychological pattern is the belief that because you’re very skilled at your field of expertise, you are more qualified to pontificate on other fields than average people.
While that may be true when it comes to logic (assuming you have a degree in a field that requires logic), and while it may also be true that there’s a higher probability you will understand a non-familiar field more quickly than the average person, the fallacy is that often you will assume you understand such a field better than those who studied it.
The truth, however, is that most people are what in German we call a “Fachidiot” (lit. “idiot in the field”, my dictionary only offers “nerd” as translation which I consider inapt) – someone who is very skilled in his own field of expertise but incompetent anywhere else.
Case in point, back in the day when I studied the behaviour of legal cranks, there was an above average number iof people with a degree in engineering among them – who somehow assumed because they had a master’s degree or even a PhD, their minds were superior to those who actually studied law, and therefore they knew more/better about it than the actual experts.
Among birthers, that holds at least for those who have a degree of some sort and still do not refrain from claiming they know (constitutional) law better than lawyers and judges up to SCOTUS.
Birther Sam Sewell comes to mind, who says he is a proud member of the high-IQ society Mensa.
Though a “real” Mensa member would never brag about his membership and usually not even mention it unless it’s to facilitate contact with other Mensa members.
Goes to show the guy is an attention wh*re.
I have a different view of Mensa and IQ, and I say that as a former member of Mensa myself. I’ve found nothing special about people with high IQs, and when I deal with people it’s not something I ever think about. Different people have all sorts of talents and skills. IQ is just a small piece. It certainly doesn’t make someone an authority on anything or mean that they’re right.
I should also mention that I believe that I read somewhere that most Mensa members did not get in based on the IQ, but rather a score on some standardized test. I think I got in based on my SAT scores.
Both my wife and I used to belong to Mensa as well — in fact that is where we met, but it seems to have the same ratio of nutcases than any other milieu. I never thought that doing well on a very narrow test was anything to brag about.
I would assume that Mensa has assholes just like the rest of society and I’m guessing that arrogance isn’t exactly an unheard of trait amongst their members either.
I never tried to join Mensa, but I did take one of their on-line tests and get a minimum passing grade (140 IQ). If that was accurate, I’m the stupidest genius you’ll ever meet. I am, however, smart enough to realize that it’s not the horsepower of the engine, but the force that can be transferred to the road that counts. Besides, no matter how smart you are, a cyborg group mind is going to make you look like an idiot anyway.
I got my doctorate here, and I suggest you do so as well.
http://thunderwoodcollege.com/
I never quite understood it, but at my undergrad alma mater, one could get a degree in chemistry, physics, computer science, etc and it was a Bachelor of Arts of Master of Arts. There were options though, such as a BS in chemistry from the College of Chemistry as opposed to the College of Letters and Science.
Well, if Sam never told us how smart he was, how else would we know?
Thanks for the link. I just completed my Doctorate in Global Management!
This will go nicely with the Juris Doctor Honoris Causa I have from Myarse University.
Looking forward to @Bob ‘s complaints about my eating foie gras at $1,000 a plate instead of McDonalds.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foie_gras
http://www.businessinsider.com/is-sukiyabashi-jiro-actually-worth-it-2014-4
@Bob [Who is more likely to stab you: the murder lifer or the person with six months left for insurance fraud?]
Witnessed a guy I used to chiropractor (adjust his back in prison) who had completed just 60 days short of a 10 year sentence for a non-sexual crime get an additional charge of 15- Life for a forced rape just before he was released. Often fear grips a man for what he is not a custom to over what he has grown a custom to.
Me thinks @Bob [If Judy wishes to not be judged for his past actions, he should start to be honest about them.] is full of Turkey shit.. Me thinks if @Bob is complaining about my spelling of judg[e]ment he’d also complains about defen[c]e.
While the meanings are firm in understanding the derelict must complain.
Me thinks if @Bob complains about my Happy Meals, whilst he applauds Obama’s dining at $1,000 a plate, and cow pieing about Climate Change whilst the jet engines idol for hours on the tarmac that @Bob certainly has not read my book. .TAKING A STAND The Conservative Independent Voice and in not doing so, but making comment about things he knows little about, simply supports the right of smart people to believe stupid stuff for nonsmart reasons.
@Bob You really epitomize.. All over yourself [ Michael Shermer’s quote …smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for nonsmart reasons.]
Please.. Educate yourself about what you comment about and don’t be a dope about me for the protections of your own genius and judgments sake.
Link to proceeding comment
WORKING DINNER for Obama
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/reliable-source/wp/2015/11/30/when-in-paris-president-obama-has-a-working-dinner-at-three-star-eatery/
As it happens (small world) not only have we eaten there (it’s a lovely place just by the Place des Vosges in the 3rd arrondissement) but the son of the owner took over the lease of the apartment where we used to live (when in Paris) on the nearby boulevard.
It is a 3-star, but not one of the really fancy-shmancy places; the decor is fabulous & impressive because it’s historically accurate Louis XIII but it really is not a “snobby” place. You can eat extremely well for under 300 euros/person (before wine) which is still cheaper than some less good places I’ve been to in Manhattan or L.A.
I think it shows taste and restraint for Hollande to have taken his guests there.
Actually, it’s on the south side of the place so it is 4th arrondissement, not 3rd.
I had foie gras at a wonderful restaurant in Philadelphia, the Striped Bass which unfortunately closed some years back. I think the meal was under $70. Next year, though, I am pulling out all the stops and will eat at Morimoto’s place at Disney World.
Does your scatter brain ever stay on subject?
Now that’s pure performance art.
(A little like good old Squeeky Fromm, but less talented.)
As Judy will never attend $1000/plate dinner, it is just yet another one of his wistful fantasies.
Typical Judy: he can’t articulate why I’m full of “Turkey shit” for thinking an unrepentant felon who terrorized thousands shouldn’t be surprised when he is judged for his actions.
The irony of Judy’s word salad’s attempt to discuss clarity.
Judy yet again lies because I have not said one thing about President Obama’s dining habits.
I’ve read enough of Judy’s comments to know watching paint dry would be more illuminating than reading Judy’s “book.”
Oh the irony: Judy’s attempt to use nonsmart reasoning fails to show why the conclusions about him are wrong.
Judy’s own comments show here that he’s a lying, unrepentant felon who had terrorized thousands. That is a sufficient education about Judy’s (lack of) character..
@Lupin right on! Thanks for the input.. I heard it was great ❤
@Noisewater Does your scatter brain ever stay on subject?]
It’s pretty much all filed under a staggering revelation of how wonderful OUR U.S. Constitution iS and how close we are to losing it.
That is “one subject” with many amendment drawers.
So pretty much the answer to my question was “No”. We don’t need to hear about the things you imagine existing in your head.
My culinary experimentation stops short of liver. Or any direct representation of offal. The name says it all: offal is awful. My wife eats it all: liver, kidney, brains, heart, tripe, everything and anything. I like sausage which can of course contain darn near anything, but I will not eat black pudding. I can sometimes stomach (pun intended) tripe if it is cooked properly into a traditional Mexican menudo.
“Dr. Conspiracy December 3, 2015 at 9:03 am
I had foie gras at a wonderful restaurant in Philadelphia, the Striped Bass which unfortunately closed some years back. I think the meal was under $70. Next year, though, I am pulling out all the stops and will eat at Morimoto’s place at Disney World. ”
I love foie gras and I can have it here where I live in abundance.
The force-feeding of the birds to get livers which are nothing but delicious fat has made me stop eating this stuff. There are other delicacies less cruel.
Your book is unreadable and incomprehensible. It is replete with misspellings and poor grammar.
Changing the subject, would it kill you to learn how to use the quote function on this blog?