Inspired by a comment from Curious George, I’m holding a contest for the best birther themed Burma-Shave ad. In the United States between 1925 and 1963, the Burma-Shave brushless shaving cream product was advertised with signs on US Highways. Each sign had a part of a pithy 4-5 line poem poem, followed by the final sign saying “Burma-Shave.”
Here’s an adaptation from a sign I remember from my youth:
In this world
Of toil and sin
The birthers sue
But Never Win
Burma-Shave1
So let’s see your ideas!
1The original version of that poem ended:
Your hair grows bald
But not your chin
Vogt ought not to pout
about this birther drought
as Vogt prepares
for the next legal bout.
Burma Shave
Any day now.
Wait and see.
We’ll get Obama.
Yesiree.
Any day. now.
Burma Shave.
It’s the Negro
The Birthers fear
They hope he’ll go
Because of a silly smear
Burma Shave™
Case dismissed!
The Birther twits,
They’ll have a fit.
Burma-Shave
With apologies to William Blake:
Birther, Birther growing dim
Their future looking grim
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful bigotry?
Burma Shave
I distinctly remember something about “if your can is to small, try ours” with a model displaying a David-Farrar-sized derriere alongside a can of shaving cream.
OK, that was an exaggeration, but it was BIG.
if at first
you don’t succeed
just file another
birfer screed
burma shave
Here goes nothing:
Success shall come
To she who waits
Unless her name
Is Orly Taitz
Burma Shave
Any
Day
Now
Send
Money
Foamy Mouths
The Birthers always blame Dr C
For pointing out their fallacies
Zullo, Corsi, Gillar and Gallups,
Always end up looking
Like sautéed scallops.
Truth is on Dr. C’s side,
Birthers sadly can only lie.
Burma-Shave
pleeze to cleek
my paypal leenk
my leegle zankshuns
shure aint cheep
burma shave
Birthers pinch their withered cheeks
Of Cheetos and stale beer they reek
As they pass their lies most foul
From knave to knave—
Burma Shave.
Obama, Obama, wherefore art thou, Obama?
Deny thy father and refuse your name!
But if not, show me your birth certificate,
And nonetheless a birther I will remain!
Burma Shave
The President is black—
No way you say!
Can’t send him back,
He’s here to stay 🙂
@Birfer Slaves
—–
so much depends
upon
a “forged”
birth certificate
glazed with bull
sh$t
in the minds of white
birthers.
Burma Shave
ROTFLMAO!!! I always love reading these types of threads from you folks. Kudos, to all. 🙂
I struggled to find a way to literally co-join the pathetic spectacle of Birtherism to the fondly remembered, charming iconic signage of a that shaving product, until I happened to remember that it was a product designed to shave WHISKERS AWAY!
Orly’s empty Suit
Could never win the day
When any empty chair could
Whisk her’s away!
Burma Shave
Are they crazy?
Calls of treason!
Birthers just won’t
Listen
To reason
Burma Shave
oh no the darkie
won the race
we wont fergit
that aint his place
burma shave
When it comes
To PDF’s
Scan to Email
Is the best
Xerox-save
On birther blogs
Obscene and fecal
Their words opined
Are barely legal.
Burma-shave
The old doc
In hat and beard
To birther lies
He is
Most Feared
Burma-Shave
When the IRS comes a knockin’
Those aspirins Z will be a poppin’
“But we’re a non-profit charity!” Z retorts.
The G-man’s reply, “We still wants those 990 reports!”
Burma-Shave
Too funny!
.
If words Vattel
You would abuse
There is no bat-tel
You cannot lose
@Putzie Knave
or…
If words Vattel
You must spin
Cease your prattle
You did not win
@Putzie Knave
one honest judge
will heed our voice
and overthrow
the people’s choice
burma shave
They love to curse
And won’t be hushed
These birthers make
A sailor blush.
Oburma Shave.
.
Endless denial
Will not stop
Birfer skulls
From going *pop*
Obama saves 😉
—–
I am a good person.
I am a good person.
I am a good person.
(Obama is bad!)
-Birther Shave
LFBC, SSN,
Birthers relish drama.
Thank God that We,
Have Dr. C,
He’s as smart and honest as Obama!
Bonsall Obot
Carl Frosty
Orlyfan
Proud Obot
Big Broverment
Birther Treat
Nora Desmond
Rene Magritte
RM
Sactosintolerant
Casino
Impartial Observer
Indo
Mr. Fixit
Julius B Censor
perspicacity
Horace
The Riddler
Unconvinced
zullo
Watch the Road
Burma-shave
Heaven knows
obama’s foes’
actions do displease us.
But you and me
and Dr. C.
leave judging up to Jesus.
When I’ve nothing better to do
I click on over to Doc C’s to view
The latest nonsense from the Birther crew
I’m never disappointed for the laugh I crave
They’re OH so predictable, Burma-Shave
The new American Revolution starts tomorrow,
When Klayman, with his two fans arrive,
They will only be met with a sense of sorrow.
But none will know of this sad non-event.
FALCON will will fuss and fume,
And he will surely vent.
But don’t expect to read about it
At ORYR anytime soon,
The truth would simply ruffle his plume,
And give the Birfers a sense of doom.
Birfer-Shave
whitebread mom
not good enough
but f*ck it cruz
got the right stuff
burma shave
they aint valid
barry’s creds
not since i went
off my meds
burma shave
I liked the Zen Koan contest better. Did we do limericks yet?
Yes
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2009/11/obama-conspiracy-limerick-contest/
and Haiku
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2011/05/obama-conspiracy-haiku-contest/
and Vogon poetry
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2013/08/vogon-poetry-contest/
and What shall we do with a drunken sailor lyrics:
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2012/09/what-shall-we-do-with-a-crazy-birther/#more-19627
Analogy contest:
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2012/02/the-obama-conspiracy-theories-analogy-contest/
Tweet Contest
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2010/07/obama-conspiracy-theories-tweet-contest/
Birther joke contest
http://www.obamaconspiracy.org/2010/01/birther-jokes-contest/
That must’ve been before my time here. Thanks for all the references. 🙂
What was really interesting was that Orly Taitz contributed a Haiku (that had the wrong number of syllables) and Mario Apuzzo left a limerick (that didn’t rhyme).
The irony, priceless.
The reason the vault copy’s hid,
no access you can get,
is once it’s shown then dr. c.
will lose his raison d’etre.
“Birfoon Rebirf” spelled backwards is “Friber Noofrib.”
(Oops, wrong retro ad campaign)
If marchers on
the road you see
“A million”‘s prolly
Twenty three
Occam Shave