Extended coverage of the Universe’s last week

Posted on March 23, 2014 by Dr. Conspiracy

Join Obama Conspiracy Theories’ coverage of the shattering of the Universe this week.

FoxSplitting

I for one have mixed feelings about seeing it go. There’s a lot of suffering in the Universe, but I will miss BBQ.

March is over. Oops.

About Dr. Conspiracy

I'm not a real doctor, but I have a master's degree.
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102 Responses to Extended coverage of the Universe’s last week

  1. bgansel9 says:
    March 23, 2014 at 2:50 pm  (Quote)

    I’m betting the universe doesn’t shatter. Wish I knew how to find a bookie to start taking odds, but alas, I’m not that kind of girl. LOL

  2. CarlOrcas says:
    March 23, 2014 at 2:58 pm  (Quote)

    I’m going to miss my wife’s fried chicken.

    And my satellite TV.

  3. JPotter says:
    March 23, 2014 at 3:09 pm  (Quote)

    I feel compelled to dust this one off:


    Well what the hell’s the matter?
    This universe won’t shatter!
    Oh, what’s a poor birfer to do?

    What’s a poor birfer to do-o-o?
    Zullo’s got nothin’ but poo! [only poo!]
    Over all my obsessions
    I’ve built up such aggression!
    Oh, what’s a poor birfer to do?

    My walls all meme-splattered,
    Yet universe not shattered,
    Oh, what’s a poor birfer to do?

    What’s a poor birfer to do-o-o?
    Only lies for me and for you. [lies for you.]
    All my delusions,
    Proved long ago illusions!
    Oh, what’s a poor birfer to do?

    Well, what the hell’s the matter?
    This universe won’t shatter!
    Oh, what’s a poor birfer to do?

    What’s .. a poor bir-fer … to-o-o … do-o-o-o?
    What’s .. a poor bir-fer … to-o-o … do-o-o-o?
    What’s .. a poor bir-fer … to-o-o … do-o-o-o?

    What’s …
    a poor bir-fer …
    to-o-o ooh-hu-ho-o-o …
    do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.

    Very nice screenshot, Doc! The Deeply Concerned Expression of Super Sincerity is Salesman Zullo at his best. I wonder how often he practices that in the mirror? 😀

    Only 9 days til Fools’ Day 😉

    _______________________

    Soooo … are the birther calendar seems to be running awful dry. I hope those last few dangling frivolous lawsuits … and the mid-terms … can tide them over until the next Presidential election cycle starts up.

  4. Arthur says:
    March 23, 2014 at 3:14 pm  (Quote)

    I never got my hoverboard, so the universe can go shatter itself.

  6. Joey says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:11 pm  (Quote)

    Just because something shatters doesn’t mean that its gone forever.
    All Zullo’s horses and all Arpaio’s men
    Can glue the universe back together again.

  7. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:18 pm  (Quote)

    Pretty easy. I can stream FNC from their web site and I use Microsoft One Note to capture the image.

    JPotter: Very nice screenshot, Doc!

  8. Arthur says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:20 pm  (Quote)

    Joey: All Zullo’s horses and all Arpaio’s men
    Can glue the universe back together again.

    You forgot to add, “And send money!”

  9. Thinker says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:27 pm  (Quote)

    The expression on Zullo’s face is awesome. You can sure tell that he is very, very distressed over this. LOL.

  10. dunstvangeet says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:32 pm  (Quote)

    This seems the appropriate place for a Douglas Adams Quote:

    The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

  11. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:41 pm  (Quote)

    I thought I would include some choice entries as they appear at BR this week:

    Jente: I just heard that Arpaio and Zullo are going to release the “universe shattering” info on Gallups show on Friday? Anybody else hear anything like that?

    ed from w. va.     what source did you hear this information from and which friday and date ?

    Jente: I can’t disclose the source, but that’s the main reason I was checking to see if anyone else had heard it. He said it is supposed to be Friday, March 28.

  12. Dave B. says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:42 pm  (Quote)

    I remember when Skylab was falling back in ’79. I was working at a power plant on the Arkansas River and one of the foremen, I believe in electrical, glued some spring nuts onto his hard hat and painted “Skylab Patrol” on it. It was a big plant, with a great big coal yard and access to the river, and we had these little Honda three-wheelers to get around on. He was tearing all over the place, having a ball patrolling for Skylab.
    It wasn’t Skylab that came down on him like a ton of bricks, though.

  13. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:50 pm  (Quote)

    I think Zullo is going to miss his Crown Vic.

  14. Jim says:
    March 23, 2014 at 4:58 pm  (Quote)

    If the universe shatters, and nobody notices…does it really shatter?

    If Zullo has a news conference, and the press doesn’t care…is it really a news conference?

    If Gallups claims he in on the secret, and everybody knows he’s full of it…is it a scam?

    If Zullo is running an official investigation, and everybody laughs at his wacky conclusions, isn’t that comedy instead?

    Questions, questions, questions…

  15. Bonsall Obot says:
    March 23, 2014 at 5:22 pm  (Quote)

    Is holding them to their own deadline (pre-goalpost-moving) an Aliskyite Tactic? Because, as we know, those are Just Not Fair.

  16. Reality Check says:
    March 23, 2014 at 5:46 pm  (Quote)

    Nice one Doc.

    Did you see the idiotic video that Mike Shoesmith posted at ppsimmons? It turns out that these embedded undercover investigations sometimes take up to ten years. Obama will be out of office in 2024! I don’t seem to recall any undercover investigations where the LEO went on radio every week and talked about it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmrRTdkPmMg

  17. CarlOrcas says:
    March 23, 2014 at 6:12 pm  (Quote)

    Reality Check: I don’t seem to recall any undercover investigations where the LEO went on radio every week and talked about it.

    Lots of examples…..hours and hours of them in fact: http://www.otrcat.com/gang-busters-p-1305.html

    I can just see Zullo tooling around in his Crown Vic listening to CD’s of these programs……Dragnet, Gang Busters and, best of all, Tales of the Texas Rangers!

    You don’t need a POST certificate if you’ve listened to these shows!

  18. Majority Will says:
    March 23, 2014 at 6:33 pm  (Quote)

    ed from w. va. what source did you hear this information from and which friday and date ?

    Jente: I can’t disclose the source . . . but it put up a horrible, loud and messy fight as I tried to flush it down the toilet.

    Fixed it.

  19. OllieOxenFree says:
    March 23, 2014 at 8:03 pm  (Quote)

    Oh, come on guys. Every “criminal investigation,” done by a, “legitimate law enforcement agency,” has involved video production, scripting, and voice over work performed by an outsider of the investigation while coordinating the timing of the release of their information with news sources and other interested groups so that it can have the greatest impact with a slow news day. These things take time.

    Obviously the weight of evidence is dependent on how many people report it and not on the actual evidence itself, which could easily be missed should any other national or world event overshadow its release.

  20. Soduko says:
    March 23, 2014 at 8:23 pm  (Quote)

    I am dying to see what he will pull out of his… ahem, cough…hat’

  21. Benji Franklin says:
    March 23, 2014 at 8:24 pm  (Quote)

    Reality Check: Did you see the idiotic video that Mike Shoesmith posted at ppsimmons?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmrRTdkPmMg

    Thanks for the tip, RC! That’s the smarmiest performance by a Birther I can ever recall watching!

    The Urban Dictionary (dotcom) defines “smarmy” in a way that Mike Shoesmith epitomizes in that video.

    Definition: “A certain attitude often accompanied by a squinty look and a superior smile that makes you instantly hate a person.”

    Try to imagine the degree of disregard he feels for the idiots who find the message of his video sensible or EVEN COMPELLING!

    It’s the same demeaning approach he would make in explaining to a five year old daughter, why he hasn’t gotten her the pony he said he would get for her two years ago.

    “Honey, I want that pony just as much as you do but the pony-fairy hasn’t finished making him yet, and, we don’t want a one-legged pony that never goes anywhere, just because Daddy hoped to bring that pony home sooner, DO WE?

    On the one hand, Honey, I’m like, HEY, I want that pony RIGHT NOW, gosh-darn it. I’ve waited long enough and it was supposed to be here in March.

    But then I remembered hearing about how some people waited YEARS, a whole LIFE-TIME even for their pony, and it turned out to be a MAGIC PONY, and well worth waiting for!

    The important thing is that we get that pony when he’s all there, be it in March of this year, or June, or December, or next year, or five years from now, or a decade from now or a century from now when we are all dead and gone, right, Honey?”

  22. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 8:37 pm  (Quote)

    There are a number of very serious-sounding comments at BR on the article, “Full Audio: Sheriff Joe Obama Investigator; Press Conferences Coming; Alabama Obama Ruling.”

    Here’s a favorite:

    Andre: I don’t hear any bluster for Zullo. He sounds like a realist. The situation is not easy. I think that he is aware that there is a weight that will fall on the country- evidence and information that the nation must confront. And as this situation and these particular illegalities have no precedent, the government institutions (and the people in them) refuse to acknowledge the issues, either rightly or wrongly. A heavy weight is about to fall on the nation, and I hope it brings strength rather than injury.

    Looks like Andre is hoping for the Universe not to shatter. Well, good intentions there.

    And then there’s

    BirtherPro: But as you know I have said before, it needs to be released with a world-wide media blitz to every single newsman & journalist so it can’t be ignored and debunked as his earlier news conferences were.

    I think BirtherPro has it backwards. The more news outlets that know about it, the more complete the debunking. Perhaps “debunked” doesn’t mean what BirtherPro thinks it does.

    And one that I’m having a hard time replying to:

    thad: this wont be a heavy weight falling on us ,its a chance to root the evile shadow goverment out and be the republic that was ment for us by our forefathers , now if your refurring to have to get off our butts yes your right ,its time to hold all of the enablers accountable. and i dont mean slapping their wrists, i mean kiking their butts all the way to the gallows.

    This one touches on a common idea:

    I think the people in the know are worried about a false flag happening to fog out the criminal investigation before the evidence is released.

  23. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 8:52 pm  (Quote)

    From BR:


    RS1    : I wonder what OBots have turned on Obama? LoL. You guys are worse than the gossipers on that “reality show” Housewives.

    What’s confusing is that the same commenter previously said:

    This could be the beginning of a cornucopia of hidden OBama, OBot information spewing forth to Arpaio and Zullo. There are likely many fence sitters who were afraid of threats and reprisals and who did not know where to take their derogatory Obama information since no one would investigate. However now, Sheriff Arpaio has an enduring investigation and they may be more willing to come forth with the evidence and proof. Buh buh bye OBots. 🙂

    It sounds like he is criticizing himself. But Falcon to the rescue:

    They’re trying to figure that out too since it dawned on them that someone is leaking all of their private threads. That’s why you don’t see them around – they’re busy sleutherizing the in-house moles.

    So has any birther ever published any inside anti-birther information? It’d be fascinating if they did, but I don’t recall it happening.

    Maybe I should make some private threads to make it easier for us to be ratted out.

  24. CarlOrcas says:
    March 23, 2014 at 9:07 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy: And then there’s

    BirtherPro: But as you know I have said before, it needs to be released with a world-wide media blitz to every single newsman & journalist so it can’t be ignored and debunked as his earlier news conferences were.

    I think BirtherPro has it backwards. The more news outlets that know about it, the more complete the debunking. Perhaps “debunked” doesn’t mean what BirtherPro thinks it does.

    In this case it means “ignore”. I can’t imagine any assignment editor in Phoenix wasting a crew and reporter sending them to another Cold Case Posse news conference. Yawn!

    If they’re smart (I know, I know) they’ll put it on the web and hope it gets exposure beyond World Net Daily and the Daily Mirror.

    Dr. Conspiracy: And one that I’m having a hard time replying to:

    thad: this wont be a heavy weight falling on us ,its a chance to root the evile shadow goverment out and be the republic that was ment for us by our forefathers , now if your refurring to have to get off our butts yes your right ,its time to hold all of the enablers accountable. and i dont mean slapping their wrists, i mean kiking their butts all the way to the gallows.

    Me thinks “thad” is putting everyone on. Though there do seem to be a large number of folks who are itching to hang anyone they can get their mitts on.

    Dr. Conspiracy: This one touches on a common idea:

    I think the people in the know are worried about a false flag happening to fog out the criminal investigation before the evidence is released.

    Wait until they find the wreckage of Malaysia 370 and the coverage goes crazy……in the next week. Coincidence? Ha!

  25. Arthur says:
    March 23, 2014 at 9:13 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy: Maybe I should make some private threads to make it easier for us to be ratted out.

    Yeah, about that . . . I tried to use my password, “obot4evuh” and I got sent to a birther porn site! Yeah, it was kind of a turn on, but still!

  26. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 9:20 pm  (Quote)

    Maybe Colbert will cover it (assuming there is anything to cover).

    CarlOrcas: If they’re smart (I know, I know) they’ll put it on the web and hope it gets exposure beyond World Net Daily and the Daily Mirror.

  27. CarlOrcas says:
    March 23, 2014 at 9:47 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    Maybe Colbert will cover it (assuming there is anything to cover).

    I’m hoping for a double header……Colbert and John Stewart.

  28. ZixiOfIx says:
    March 23, 2014 at 9:50 pm  (Quote)

    The Universe shatters in just over a week? Oh, dear. Where does the time go?

    Does anyone have peanuts? We’ll all need three pints of bitter each, too. I’m really not looking forward to Vogon poetry.

    By drink Ford Prefect meant alcohol. ‘The Encyclopedia Galactica’ describes alcohol as a colourless, volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms. ‘The Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. The effect of which is like “having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one, and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate.

  29. Keith says:
    March 23, 2014 at 10:07 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy: And one that I’m having a hard time replying to:

    thad: this wont be a heavy weight falling on us ,its a chance to root the evile shadow goverment out and be the republic that was ment for us by our forefathers , now if your refurring to have to get off our butts yes your right ,its time to hold all of the enablers accountable. and i dont mean slapping their wrists, i mean kiking their butts all the way to the gallows.

    Maybe not an actual reply, but this is all I can come up with:

    Comment from Billie Holiday

    Comment from Nina Simone (very NSFW)

  30. Publius says:
    March 23, 2014 at 10:12 pm  (Quote)

    I for one have mixed feelings about seeing it go. There’s a lot of suffering in the Universe, but I will miss BBQ.

    No, Dr. C… You won’t.

  31. Dave B. says:
    March 23, 2014 at 11:05 pm  (Quote)

    Yeah, when there’s nothing left but coyotes and cockroaches, they’ll be BBQing each other. Hard times is how things like that get started.

    Publius: I for one have mixed feelings about seeing it go. There’s a lot of suffering in the Universe, but I will miss BBQ.

    No, Dr. C… You won’t.

  32. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 23, 2014 at 11:48 pm  (Quote)

    The last weather report you’ll ever need:

    I just realized that The Weather Channel issues a weather forecast that extends beyond the shattering of the universe. Of course, universe shattering is probably not considered in their models.

    Our last day looks pretty nice: mostly sunny with a high of 73 F.

  33. Joey says:
    March 24, 2014 at 12:26 am  (Quote)

    Arthur: Yeah, about that . . .I tried to use my password, “obot4evuh” and I got sent to a birther porn site! Yeah, it was kind of a turn on, but still!

    You got sent to the birther porn site too? Man, that Orly Taitz is a contortionist.

  34. dunstvangeet says:
    March 24, 2014 at 2:01 am  (Quote)

    Joey: You got sent to the birther porn site too? Man, that Orly Taitz is a contortionist.

    And that calls for some brain bleech…

  35. The Magic M says:
    March 24, 2014 at 5:06 am  (Quote)

    dunstvangeet: This seems the appropriate place for a Douglas Adams Quote

    I prefer this one, slightly adapted for the birther situation:

    “There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly [why Obama is ineligible and presents proof of it to the world], [the universe] will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”

  36. The Magic M says:
    March 24, 2014 at 5:08 am  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy: I just realized that The Weather Channel issues a weather forecast that extends beyond the shattering of the universe.

    So can I: “It’s gonna be a cold day in Hell.” 😉

  37. interestedbystander says:
    March 24, 2014 at 8:07 am  (Quote)

    I’m stopping doing laundry now – figure I’ve got enough underwear to last until the Shatttering. What’s everyone palnning to wear on the big day, other than clean underpants of course? I figure it’s a white tie and tails event at the very least.

  38. alg says:
    March 24, 2014 at 8:59 am  (Quote)

    interestedbystander:
    I’m stopping doing laundry now – figure I’ve got enough underwear to last until the Shatttering.What’s everyone palnning to wear on the big day, other than clean underpants of course?I figure it’s a white tie and tails event at the very least.

    I have unpacked and cleaned my pale-green double-knit polyester leisure suit for the occasion – an appropriate attire to honor the good work of Mr. Zullo and his Cold Cream Posse.

  39. Bovril says:
    March 24, 2014 at 9:14 am  (Quote)

    Damn, I’ll be in Brazil when it all happens, oh well, better try and work out what way to fritter away my last few days in the Universe….Suggestions..?

  40. Thomas Brown says:
    March 24, 2014 at 9:47 am  (Quote)

    Joey: You got sent to the birther porn site too? Man, that Orly Taitz is a contortionist.

    I hear it’s amazing what she can do with a motorized dental chair, a bowling ball, some floss and a suction tube. Allegedly.

  41. American Mzungu says:
    March 24, 2014 at 9:58 am  (Quote)

    This wouldn’t all be a set up for an April Fools’ Day article, would it? 🙂

  42. The Magic M says:
    March 24, 2014 at 10:00 am  (Quote)

    interestedbystander: I figure it’s a white tie and tails event at the very least.

    At least if you want service at my “Restaurant at the End of the Universe” where birthers will be able to relive the shattering every night.

    Special program for your entertainment: a Donald Trump impersonator will fire a Barack Obama impersonator impersonator at 10 p.m.

    Please leave one chair at your table empty in honour of President Orly Taitz.

    No Kenyan Kredit Kards or World Nut Dollars allowed.

    Bring your own birth certificate.

    We have layers of entertainment!

  43. Jim says:
    March 24, 2014 at 10:26 am  (Quote)

    Bah-humbug! You all can go to the restaurant at the edge of the universe…but it will still be shattered too. I’ve got my ACME Dimension Transporter all fired up and ready to go. See you all in the 5th dimension…at the new Age of Aquarius! 😀

  44. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:
    March 24, 2014 at 1:27 pm  (Quote)

    Jim:
    Bah-humbug!You all can go to the restaurant at the edge of the universe…

    Now, I was gonna wait and surprise you, but I went ahead and put a penny deposit down, for each of you! So we all eat free!

  45. BillTheCat says:
    March 24, 2014 at 2:27 pm  (Quote)

    Jim:
    the 5th dimension…Age of Aquarius!

    I see what you did there 😉

  46. Jim says:
    March 24, 2014 at 2:47 pm  (Quote)

    BillTheCat: I see what you did there

    Thank doG! I was worried it was too old for this board!!! 😆

  47. bgansel9 says:
    March 24, 2014 at 4:02 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy: There are a number of very serious-sounding comments at BR on the article

    I’ve never been Catholic, does this mean Lent is over?

  48. bgansel9 says:
    March 24, 2014 at 4:03 pm  (Quote)

    Jim: Bah-humbug! You all can go to the restaurant at the edge of the universe…but it will still be shattered too.

    Time to say “So long and thanks for all the fish?”

  49. bgansel9 says:
    March 24, 2014 at 4:12 pm  (Quote)

    Jim: Thank doG! I was worried it was too old for this board!!!

    You’re among similarly aged humans.

  50. Reality Check says:
    March 24, 2014 at 5:34 pm  (Quote)

    Dear Kommandante Zullo

    Could you please postpone your upcoming shattering of the universe until after the NCAA tournament is over? I can still win the bracket pool here at DARPA if Louisville goes all the way. Your cooperation would be appreciated.

    Regards,

    Professor Richard Randy Rockwell Daniels

  51. Keith says:
    March 24, 2014 at 5:48 pm  (Quote)

    Reality Check:
    Dear Kommandante Zullo

    Could you please postpone your upcoming shattering of the universe until after the NCAA tournament is over? I can still win the bracket pool here at DARPA if Louisville goes all the way. Your cooperation would be appreciated.

    Regards,

    Professor Richard Randy Rockwell Daniels

    Don’t worry about it. Louisville might make the four, but if they do, the beatdown Arizona will give them will be universe shattering.

  52. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 24, 2014 at 8:25 pm  (Quote)

    It’s not that.

    I had been playing around with a suicide note for April Fools Day, but I decided that there was nothing cute I could do with that concept, and abandoned the idea.

    American Mzungu:
    This wouldn’t all be a set up for an April Fools’ Day article, would it?:)

  53. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 24, 2014 at 8:28 pm  (Quote)

    No. What I did was to give up argument confrontation at BR for Lent. I still visit and make a rare informational comment, like providing a link somebody asks for.

    Lent’s not over until Easter Sunday, which is April 20.

    bgansel9: I’ve never been Catholic, does this mean Lent is over?

  54. CarlOrcas says:
    March 24, 2014 at 8:44 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    It’s not that.

    I had been playing around with a suicide note for April Fools Day, but I decided that there was nothing cute I could do with that concept, and abandoned the idea.

    Smart man.

    I’m not good at that kind of writing but I have a vision of a birther at the Birther Bar trying to drown his/her sorrows….cursing the fate that has befallen their valiant effort to save America because no one would listen…….no one would listen……………

  55. Dave says:
    March 24, 2014 at 9:33 pm  (Quote)

    Scanning recent comments at BR I get the impression that anticipation of Zullo’s Big March Release has plummeted. The bottom has pretty much fallen out.

  56. Andrew Vrba, PmG says:
    March 24, 2014 at 9:42 pm  (Quote)

    Dave:
    Scanning recent comments at BR I get the impression that anticipation of Zullo’s Big March Release has plummeted. The bottom has pretty much fallen out.

    And once again, their hope has been replaced with deep, burning anger.
    Feels good man.

  57. CarlOrcas says:
    March 24, 2014 at 10:22 pm  (Quote)

    Speaking of Joe Arpaio…..he may be hoping the universe is nearing an end after today’s hearing before Federal Judge C. Murray Snow in Phoenix.

    Judge Snow handed Arpaio and his number two guy their butts…..in public. Arpaio kept his mouth shut in court but #2 Jerry Sheridan had to stand in the well for his tongue lashing……………..

    http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2014/03/joe_arpaio_jerry_sheridan_span.php

    If these guys keep this up the judge will sanction them and expand the role of his monitor to cover everything in the department.

  58. The Magic M says:
    March 25, 2014 at 5:11 am  (Quote)

    Dave: Scanning recent comments at BR I get the impression that anticipation of Zullo’s Big March Release has plummeted.

    People still mentioning the March promise are called Obots, likely by Zullo’s and the admin’s sock puppets.

  59. JPotter says:
    March 25, 2014 at 7:31 am  (Quote)

    Dave:
    Scanning recent comments at BR I get the impression that anticipation of Zullo’s Big March Release has plummeted. The bottom has pretty much fallen out.

    Always darkest before the dawn. 😉

    The Magic M: People still mentioning the March promise are called Obots, likely by Zullo’s and the admin’s sock puppets.

    Yes, obviously anyone gauche enough to hold birfers accountable to their own statements is clearly the enemy. 🙄

  60. Keith says:
    March 25, 2014 at 9:34 am  (Quote)

    The Magic M: People still mentioning the March promise are called Obots, likely by Zullo’s and the admin’s sock puppets.

    Fair enough. Followers of particular prophecies usually do get their own name, just so everyone else can discuss them with some level of precision. I admit that it does sound a little odd to call themselves ‘Obots’ though.

    For example, people who mention the prophecy of Charles Taze Russel and Joseph F. Rutherford are usually called ‘Jehovah’s Witness’, and they are still carrying on today, even though their various deadlines for TEOTWAWKI came and went. It would be odd if they were called ‘mainstream Christians’.

    The Millerites morphed into the Seventh Day Adventists. The Mormon’s survived Joseph Smith’s end times prophecy.

    I see no reason why the birthers (and everyone else) shouldn’t survive the Universe Shattering fail.

  61. bgansel9 says:
    March 25, 2014 at 9:53 am  (Quote)

    CarlOrcas: If these guys keep this up the judge will sanction them and expand the role of his monitor to cover everything in the department.

    And it’s right on the front page of the Arizona Republic today. 🙂

  62. CarlOrcas says:
    March 25, 2014 at 10:27 am  (Quote)

    bgansel9: And it’s right on the front page of the Arizona Republic today.

    Didn’t see it in the New Times story but the Republic piece says Judge Snow has proposed removing the Sheriff from the mandated community liaison committee and replacing him with…….the Judge’s monitor.

    http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/politics/2014/03/24/arpaio-chief-deputy-appear-district-court/6833085/

    If Arpaio doesn’t get that message he’s likely to end up with nothing to do at his own department.

    His conduct yesterday is classic Arpaio: He didn’t say a word in court. Let his subordinate take all the arrows (Remember Dave Hendershott?) and then blustered for the press once he was out of court.

  63. Bonsall Obot says:
    March 25, 2014 at 10:49 am  (Quote)

    Personally, I’m enjoying the dynamic between the Peoples’ Front for Birfering and the Birfering Peoples’ Front.

  64. Bovril says:
    March 25, 2014 at 11:02 am  (Quote)

    SPLITTERS!!!!!!

  65. bgansel9 says:
    March 25, 2014 at 11:07 am  (Quote)

    CarlOrcas: His conduct yesterday is classic Arpaio: He didn’t say a word in court. Let his subordinate take all the arrows (Remember Dave Hendershott?) and then blustered for the press once he was out of court.

    If he opens his mouth, he’s good a good chance at screwing up his gubernatorial campaign.

  66. CarlOrcas says:
    March 25, 2014 at 11:22 am  (Quote)

    bgansel9: If he opens his mouth, he’s good a good chance at screwing up his gubernatorial campaign.

    I’ll believe it when I see his name on the primary ballot. I think he has another couple months to get that done.

  67. bgansel9 says:
    March 25, 2014 at 11:48 am  (Quote)

    CarlOrcas: I’ll believe it when I see his name on the primary ballot. I think he has another couple months to get that done.

    I think he will not be able to resist the idea of running, especially now that Jan Brewer has cleared the way for him.

  68. CarlOrcas says:
    March 25, 2014 at 12:33 pm  (Quote)

    bgansel9: I think he will not be able to resist the idea of running, especially now that Jan Brewer has cleared the way for him.

    I haven’t seen any statewide poll numbers, have you?

    The last Rocky Mountain Poll on Arpaio was last summer and limited to Maricopa County. At that point his approval rating had declined to just 37%. I doubt it has gone up since then.

    In the past he never polled as well outside Maricopa County as he did in and I doubt that has changed either.

    None of the announced candidates seems to be exciting voters with most of them in single digits in a recent poll.

    Arpaio would certainly stir things up and I would never bet against him.

  69. Saul Allinsky says:
    March 25, 2014 at 8:06 pm  (Quote)

    Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to support your side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

  70. gorefan says:
    March 25, 2014 at 8:43 pm  (Quote)

    Saul Allinsky:
    Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to supportyour side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

    If they do, they have never presented it to the public.

  71. Dave says:
    March 25, 2014 at 9:13 pm  (Quote)

    Of course they do. They have lots of evidence, and by next Monday they’ll let us all know what it is.

    Saul Allinsky:
    Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to supportyour side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

  72. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 25, 2014 at 9:22 pm  (Quote)

    The problem with your comment is that you provide no reason for me to believe it–not even a reason why you believe it.

    The Posse has held three press conferences and released some reports, ALL of which are amateurish and wrong. Why would any rational person believe that what they come up with in the future will fundamentally different from what they have come up with in the past?

    As for this article, it’s not propaganda–it’s satire.

    Saul Allinsky: Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to support your side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

  73. Arthur says:
    March 25, 2014 at 10:15 pm  (Quote)

    Saul Allinsky: The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

    Only a handful of birthers believe this material has any truth to it. That’s why it’s ridiculed, that’s why it cannot be used in court, and that’s why Zullo and company will never do anything but make empty promises.

  74. Arthur says:
    March 25, 2014 at 10:22 pm  (Quote)

    Dave: They have lots of evidence, and by next Monday they’ll let us all know what it is.

    Now, Dave we both know that due to the extraordinary circumstances of Lt. Zullo’s investigation–which as you know, is now a CRIMINAL investigation, and one so secret that the MCSO denies any involvement–the release date could be pushed to April . . . or May . . . or June . . . or Mike may decide that, to do the most good, his report should be published as an e-book. As people who have never run such an important or comprehensive investigation, it behooves us not to second guess the man who is at the center of it all.

    Wow, I can’t believe I typed all that without throwing up.

  75. Benji Franklin says:
    March 26, 2014 at 2:07 am  (Quote)

    Karl Gall Oops! (wailing siren in background) :”Hi, Listeners, Karl Gall Oops! here on the Pee Pee Summons Rodeo Nutwork with a public service bulletin. This is A TEST of the Mike Zoo Low Universe Shattering Obama Criminal Investigation Announcement Network.

    THIS is only A TEST! If this had been an actual announcement of Universe Shattering evidence, it would have been preceded by donation-soliciting instructions telling you how to tune in our emergency backup sister-network, the Poo Poo Summons Rodeo Nutwork, broadcasting from a secure location in the bowels of Commandermandermander, Mike Zoo Low’s backyard Obama-tracking Tree House. When that decade, year, and day comes, stay tune for information about how you can purchase from our ministry, a factory reconditioned portion of the Universe in which to survive and plan the Citizen’s Grand Jury Capital Crime Trial of Obama.

    Check this time every year here for updates on when the actual Universe Shattering announcement MAY be made. Until then, you may point out to doubters, that the fact that the Universe remains unshattered, constitutes absolute proof that the irrefutable Obama ruining evidence we had ALREADY GATHERED by March of 2014, not only EXISTS but HAS NOT BEEN ANNOUNCED by us yet.

    This concludes this test of the Mike Zoo Low Universe Shattering Obama Criminal Investigation Announcement Network, celebrating 10 years of extra-legal Obama stalking in association with the Promise Creepers. Thank you.”

  76. nbc says:
    March 26, 2014 at 4:16 am  (Quote)

    Saul Allinsky:
    Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to supportyour side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

    Saul is mentally preparing himself for another disappointment when the Cold Case Posse fails to ‘deliver the goods’.

    Then what Saul?

  77. ZixiOfIx says:
    March 26, 2014 at 4:32 am  (Quote)

    Saul Allinsky: Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to supportyour side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

    If they have the facts, evidence and testimony, where is it? Tick tock…

    Face the only fact in evidence: March came in like Zullo’s lyin’ and is gonna go out like a sham.

  78. carl says:
    March 26, 2014 at 6:35 am  (Quote)

    University of Phoenix stadium is not available in March. With the world’s media involved, Zullo needs at least 60,000 seats for the universe shattering press conference. Can we just call it ‘rapture’? Maybe the stadium will be available in June if the O-bots will stop spending DARPA money to book it for job fairs and other phony events.

  79. Dave says:
    March 26, 2014 at 9:43 am  (Quote)

    Zullo is not just the birthers’ last hope, he is also mine. My last hope that the birthers will become entertaining again. Because reading the same old crap recycled over and over has just gotten boring.

  80. Rickey says:
    March 26, 2014 at 12:33 pm  (Quote)

    Saul Allinsky:
    Pure commie false propaganda. Not one of you offers anything but personal attacks to supportyour side. The posse has facts, evidence and testimony that proves Obama is a fraud.

    Mike Zullo, 14 months ago:

    “The evidence that we have acquired — new-found evidence that we have never made public at any point in time, and we are not going to make public until we have the right opportunity — will convince even the greatest skeptic that this document is 100 percent a forgery.”

    We’re still waiting for Zullo’s “right opportunity.”

    “When this information is finally exposed to the public, it will be universe-shattering,” Mike Zullo told WND. “This is beyond the pale of anything you can imagine.” Zullo explained that because it’s an active investigation that could produce criminal charges, he’s unable to reveal details at the moment.But the allegations, he said, which go far beyond a fraudulent birth certificate, could be public as early as March.

    – Bob Unruh, WND, 12/13/13

    Or maybe as early as April, or May, or November. There is less than a week left in March.

  81. Seamus says:
    March 26, 2014 at 4:41 pm  (Quote)

    Social security number of Obama is stolen. That is a fact. Birth certificate is a poorly done counterfeit. Another fact. Obama himself in his literary bio claims to have been born in Kenya . That also is a fact. Your side with Dan Rather fabricated Bush records , but you have no desire to learn about the real Obama. Even after election Bill Ayers admitted to lots of this after years of denial.

  82. CarlOrcas says:
    March 26, 2014 at 5:31 pm  (Quote)

    Seamus:
    Social security number of Obama is stolen. That is a fact. Birth certificate is a poorly done counterfeit. Another fact. Obama himself in his literary bio claims to have been born in Kenya . That also is a fact. Your side with Dan Rather fabricated Bush records , but you have no desire to learn about the real Obama. Even after election Bill Ayers admitted to lots of this after years of denial.

    Are you a member of the Cold Case Posse, Seamus?

  83. Bonsall Obot says:
    March 26, 2014 at 5:39 pm  (Quote)

    I highly recommend The Bugle podcast, hosted by John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman; every time Oliver makes a ridiculous, unsourced statement, he follows it with “that’s a FACT, Andy!” I’m sure that’s where Seamus stole this particular piece of comedy.

  84. DryInk says:
    March 26, 2014 at 5:43 pm  (Quote)

    Seamus:
    Social security number of Obama is stolen. That is a fact. Birth certificate is a poorly done counterfeit. Another fact. Obama himself in his literary bio claims to have been born in Kenya . That also is a fact. Your side with Dan Rather fabricated Bush records , but you have no desire to learn about the real Obama. Even after election Bill Ayers admitted to lots of this after years of denial.

    Facts. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  85. Rickey says:
    March 26, 2014 at 5:59 pm  (Quote)

    Seamus:
    Social security number of Obama is stolen. That is a fact.

    Wrong. Obama’s SSN was never assigned to Harrison J. Bounel, Harry Bounel, or any other person. I would ask you show us some documented, admissible evidence that Obama’s SSN was stolen from someone else, but there isn’t any.

    Incidentally, “Harrison J. Bounel” and “Harry Bounel” never existed.

    Birth certificate is a poorly done counterfeit. Another fact.

    Wrong again. All of the so-called anomalies in the PDF copy of the birth certificate were caused by the normal settings of a Xerox Workstation. That actually has been proven. No real expert has ever examined the birth certificate, which has been verified as authentic by the State of Hawaii.

    Obama himself in his literary bio claims to have been born in Kenya . That also is a fact.

    Guess what? Wrong again. Obama had nothing to do with the “literary bio.” It was written by a publicist who never spoke to Obama and who has acknowledged that she made a mistake.

    Your side with Dan Rather fabricated Bush records , but you have no desire to learn about the real Obama. Even after election Bill Ayers admitted to lots of this after years of denial.

    Birthers such as you have difficulty spotting sarcasm when it is staring you in the face. Everything which Bill Ayers said was tongue-in-cheek, and predictably many birthers fell for it. I dub thee Seamus the Gullible.

  86. Dave says:
    March 26, 2014 at 7:51 pm  (Quote)

    Since we don’t have any new info from Zullo, BR has posted a new video rehash of everything the CCP said before, assembled by Mike Volin and/or Pixel Patriot. It is entitled “Universe Shattering.” What else would it be titled.

    The reason I bring this up is that I have a question. The video includes footage of Arpaio going full birther, and can anyone confirm my suspicion that all that footage is from about two years ago. As far as I know, Arpaio has made no public mention of this BS since then.

    If Zullo ever does get around to holding a press conference, it will be interesting if Arpaio doesn’t even show up.

  87. Northland10 says:
    March 26, 2014 at 8:02 pm  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    No. What I did was to give up argument confrontation at BR for Lent. I still visit and make a rare informational comment, like providing a link somebody asks for.

    Lent’s not over until Easter Sunday, which is April 20.

    I really wish he’d get this universe shattering thing over with. Do I prep for Holy Week and Easter or do I just skip it. Widor doesn’t practice itself.

  88. BillTheCat says:
    March 26, 2014 at 8:57 pm  (Quote)

    Seamus:
    Social security number of Obama is stolen. That is a fact. Birth certificate is a poorly done counterfeit. Another fact. Obama himself in his literary bio claims to have been born in Kenya . That also is a fact. Your side with Dan Rather fabricated Bush records , but you have no desire to learn about the real Obama. Even after election Bill Ayers admitted to lots of this after years of denial.

    Your “facts” are made-up. 200+ court cases lost by your ilk. *sad trombone*

  89. Dr. Conspiracy says:
    March 26, 2014 at 9:01 pm  (Quote)

    There is a story told about Martin Luther. When asked what he would do if he were certain the world was ending tomorrow, Luther replied, “plant a tree.”

    Northland10: I really wish he’d get this universe shattering thing over with. Do I prep for Holy Week and Easter or do I just skip it. Widor doesn’t practice itself.

  90. Keith says:
    March 26, 2014 at 11:39 pm  (Quote)

    Bonsall Obot:
    Personally, I’m enjoying the dynamic between the Peoples’ Front for Birfering and the Birfering Peoples’ Front.

    Bovril:
    SPLITTERS!!!!!!

    Which Franchise?

  91. The European says:
    March 27, 2014 at 3:03 am  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    There is a story told about Martin Luther. When asked what he would do if he were certain the world was ending tomorrow, Luther replied, “plant a tree.”

    I know it like:

    “If I knew that the world would end tomorrow – today I would yet plant my appletree”.

    One of my most appreciated maxims, even when I consider ML’s not very nice personality as documented in some of his writings about the peasants f.e.

  92. Sef says:
    March 27, 2014 at 11:02 am  (Quote)

    Dr. Conspiracy:
    There is a story told about Martin Luther. When asked what he would do if he were certain the world was ending tomorrow, Luther replied, “plant a tree.”

    If I were really, really sure I would plant some black walnut trees.

  93. Crustacean says:
    March 27, 2014 at 12:46 pm  (Quote)

    Sef: If I were really, really sure I would plant some black walnut trees.

    I have to confess: that comment went right over my head. So I did an Interwebs search on “biblical significance of black walnuts,” and found this article.

    http://www.angels3bible.com/products/black-walnut-trees.html

  94. JPotter says:
    March 27, 2014 at 12:59 pm  (Quote)

    Crustacean: I have to confess: that comment went right over my head.So I did an Interwebs search on “biblical significance of black walnuts,” and found this article.

    http://www.angels3bible.com/products/black-walnut-trees.html

    “Today the Spirit of Truth has revealed to me how to realize more fully the potential yield, and to make this process so much easier. ”

    Oy vey. How I recall this common religious tactic: presenting relatively common wisdom as tho it was a new revelation … even if its something common sense should readily reveal.

    Yes, you soak nuts to soften before cracking. Just like grandma did.

    And her grandma before that, and her grandma before that …

  95. Sef says:
    March 27, 2014 at 1:06 pm  (Quote)

    Sef: If I were really, really sure I would plant some black walnut trees.

    The point being that it takes 25 to 30 years for a black walnut tree to reach maturation. Planting one late in one’s life is an indication that you expect to live to a really ripe old age.

  96. Crustacean says:
    March 27, 2014 at 1:27 pm  (Quote)

    Sef: The point being that it takes 25 to 30 years for a black walnut tree to reach maturation. Planting one late in one’s life is an indication that you expect to live to a really ripe old age.

    Thanks, Sef! Sheesh, sometimes my thick skull is as hard as a… as a… darn, I can’t think of a good simile.

  97. Plantmaster says:
    March 27, 2014 at 5:46 pm  (Quote)

    So long, Zullo, and thanks for all the substandard fish…

  98. The European says:
    March 27, 2014 at 6:17 pm  (Quote)

    Sef: The point being that it takes 25 to 30 years for a black walnut tree to reach maturation. Planting one late in one’s life is an indication that you expect to live to a really ripe old age.

    I disagree. Most trees are planted for the generations to come. A concept not easy to understand in a society which foundation is the fast buck and “après nous, le deluge”…..

  99. JPotter says:
    March 27, 2014 at 6:51 pm  (Quote)

    C’mon, no jokes about cracking soaked nuts?

    What with the universe shattering in a few days, why not?

  100. The Magic M says:
    March 28, 2014 at 7:29 am  (Quote)

    Today is the final March day for birthers, given that they usually set their hopes in Fridays and several have claimed the 28th because it also happens to coincide with SCOTUS’ (?) date for Strunk’s latest crapola.

    Some peeps at Birther Report have already switched to “mid/late April” so I guess that’s gonna be the narrative for the next month, interspersed with some “but no later than May” anydaynowishness.

    But I have faith Cark Zullups will announce a third, “multiverse-shatter-battering” investigation that will “comprise even more than just Obama and the US” and “convince even the deadest skeptic” that Connecticut and Hawaii are not the same state and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the US don’t have 57 states and that playing golf makes you gay.
    You will just have to wait a few more months until they have all the VIP’s back off board and can finally unload the motherlode!
    Stay tuned! And hit that donation button, mama needs a new pair of police SUV’s!

  101. Joey says:
    March 29, 2014 at 5:53 pm  (Quote)

    Gallups has been slowed to a trot.

  102. Rickey says:
    March 29, 2014 at 10:14 pm  (Quote)

    The Magic M:
    Today is the final March day for birthers, given that they usually set their hopes in Fridays and several have claimed the 28th because it also happens to coincide with SCOTUS’ (?) date for Strunk’s latest crapola.

    Yesterday was the date for a conference on Strunk v. Paterson in New York Supreme Court (Brooklyn). The birthers were convinced that it was a hearing where momentous rulings were going to be made. In reality, there was no hearing and the lawsuit was simply adjourned to June 13.

    On Monday Robert Laity will get the official notice that his hapless petition to SCOTUS has been denied. He has been told, but does not believe, that his petition was dead filed weeks ago.

    I tried to tell Vogt that his petition has been dead filed, but it appears that I have been banned at BR.

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