One of the neat things about having this blog is the interesting commenters and their bursts of creativity, shown especially in our previous contests. It’s been a long time since our last one so here is the
Obama Conspiracy Theories birther mondegreen contest
A mondegreen is the mishearing or misinterpretation of a phrase as a result of near-homophony, in a way that gives it a new meaning. The term was coined by American writer Sylvia Wright in a 1954 essay in Harpers Magazine, recounting her misunderstanding of a poem when she was a child, hearing:
Ye Highlands and ye Lowlands,
Oh, where hae ye been?
They hae slain the Earl o’ Moray,
And Lady Mondegreen.
The actual last line was “And laid him on the green.”
Contestant’s may leave a birther-themed mondegreen in comments and receive the adulation of their peers.
Thanks to Keith for the suggestion.
That reminds me that in 1961 one of the year’s hit songs was “Michael (Row the Boat Ashore)” by The Highwaymen. This what the third stanza sounded like to me:
The river is deep and the river is wide, alleluia
Bilk and a knee on the other side, alleluia
Of course, I couldn’t figure out what clarinetist Acker Bilk and his knee had to do with the rest of the song.
The actual words are:
The river is deep and the river is wide, alleluia
Milk and honey on the other side, alleluia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRv-fgfLFTk
In high school the song was “My eyes adored you” which I heard as “My sweet Georgia.” which happened to the name of the girl I was sweet on at the time. You have to hear the song to see how the mistake is easy to make.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xqz9eyakGqY
On “Another side of Bob Dylan” there is the song “To Ramona”. I interpreted the words “a vacuum, a scheme” as “washing machine”.
There’s a book of examples from songs titled “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” (from Jimi Hendrix singing “Excuse me while I kiss the sky“).
Great idea for a contest, Doc!
I miss Emily Litella. What’s all this fuss I hear about President Obama being a stew slurper…
[edit: OK, that’s probably more of a malapropism. Plus, it’s totally made up. But do I get bonus points for birfiness?]
And there’s the Manfred Mann song “Blinded by the Light” with the lyrics:
“Revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night”
Which I misheard as, “Wrapped up like a douche/In the rumor of the night.”
Doc: you mean, of course, other than hearing Dr. Onaka say: “Pres. Obama was born in Hawaii,” but hearing that, probably because of Dr. Onaka’s accent, as “Pres. Soetero was born in Kenya and has Indonesian citizenship, besides being a Muslim usurper.”
Now who is the douche ? CC ? It’s a Springsteen written song !
Okay, how about Credence Clearwater Revival?
Don’t go out tonight, it’s bound to take your life
There’s a baboon on the right.
Now I’ve got my very own mondegreen, as it turns out. This is a little ditty of mine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIawIapsAsM
What I say at about 1:17, my mother had taken as “Lord come down and kick my rear.”
For some reason. It’s “Lord come down and take my rib,” a little Adam-and-Eve reference.
As has been mentioned, collections of mondegreens abound.
One of my favorites is the misheard line from a hymn, “Gladly, the Cross-Eyed Bear.”
I didn’t know that, but I always thought the lyrics sounded like something you would have heard on “Born to Run.”
George Michael will be your “preacher, teacher” …
… not your “creature feature.”
don’t forget `lord of the dance’ and it’s sofa reference
`dance now whoever you may be
for I am the lord of the dance setee’
Arpaio’s hilariously refrain from 2012—”Shee-yoh uhhss thuh my-kruh-FEMM. Shee-yoh uhhss thuh my-kruh-FEMM.”—I first heard as “Show us the microphone” … which I thought was odd, as he was speaking into a microphone.
I don’t recall often mishearing birferisms. The shock and awe comes from continually confirming I heard their latest crazy correctly the first time LOL
Lord Tiffick went a-hunting,
Led his horses through the gate,
But sadly came home empty
And quite loudly moaned his fate.
A servant girl had heard him,
Wanted something for his plate,
And so she sent the huntsman out
To round up supper straight.
You may have heard the story
That the hunter’s luck was great,
But you should have seen the feast of
Foraged birds Sir Tiffick ate.
This may be a better last stanza:
Our Sheriff heard the story
That the hunter’s luck was great
And sings a song about the
Foraged birds Sir Tiffick ate.
The website amiright.com covers most of this these days.
Obama haters coined the “Obama nation / abomination” homonym.
“If he just released the long form birth certificate, this will all be over.”
can be misunderstood as
“Tiffy just released the longed-for birther defecate. Tiffy, I’ll be over!”
Excellent (especially with the context verses). 🙂
“You guys just can’t handle knowing where I was really born, can ya?”
–Barack Obama, to the first Birthers, 2008
I went to a comedy show once with an entire riff on this (it was very good). I still can never remember the correct lyrics.
Some Emily Litella-isms:
What is all this fuss I hear about the Supreme Court decision on a “deaf” penalty?
What is this I hear about saving Soviet jewelry?
Plus she ranted about “endangered feces,” “violins on television,” “Presidential erections,” “conserving natural racehorses,” etc.
As a little Catholic child, I thought the real starting words to the Act of Contrition were, “Oh my God I am partly sorry…” instead of “heartly sorry”. Probably because I really wasn’t all that sorry.
I used hear to the lyrics to “Summer Breeze” as
“Blowing through the chasm in my mind”
Instead it was “Blowing through the jasmine in my mind”
And I heard the lyrics to “I am Woman” as
“I’m still an angry oaf”
It was really “I’m still an embryo”
I think I deserve a pass for the second mishearing. Who expects to hear the word “embryo” in a song?
I thought it was, “Summer peas . . . make me feel fine, lord how I like to eat them all the time . . .”
I thought the Creedence Clearwater song was
“There’s a bathroom on the right.”
I long to hear Share If Our Pie Hole bellow at Obama, “Get out of OUR Oval Office, you Surper you!
O bah humbug, can spirals see the eeries? I ask you.
In other news, the U.S. Navy (not really) issued a press release clarifying that:
“Zulu time should not be confused with Zullo time. One is a fixed standard of time based on the prime meridian; the other refers to an unfixed point in time based on a wandering line in the ocean, commonly referred to as ‘any day now.’
“When someone, for example, says something will happen ‘at 0100 Zullo’ that just means ‘sleep well, nothing’s on the radar.’
“The phrase also is commonly used as a passive aggressive code by crewmen when complaining amongst themselves about an order or a commanding officer. For example (often mumbled): ‘Yeah, I’ll get on that. Right at 1900 Zullo.’
“Another widespread use of the term ‘Zullo’ is when making (unsanctioned) bets on what time ‘Zullo’ a Navy-issued irony meter will conk out.”
Naked Bravado Zullo. Naked Bravado Zullo. Copy.
(NEGAT Bravo Zulu: meaning “not well done.”)
So last night I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner and the father of the groom got up to invite folks to speak at the microphone. I heard him say “Come on up if you have something tacky.” I thought it was really funny, until my wife said the words were “to say” not “tacky.”
José, can you seen by the dawn’s early light?
Yeesh, now you’ve reminded me of how a whole lotta folks heard “I’m your venus, I’m your fire…”
U96, Das Boot, techno version: “Und tanzen!” (“Now dance!”)
I always understood “Und hinsetzen!” (“Now sit down!”)
Robbie Williams, Advertising Space: “We let our profits go to waste”
I first understood: “The little prophets go two ways”
When I was in High School, there was this Stone Temple Pilots song. The name escapes me, but I always thought I was getting the lyrics wrong, because it just sounded like a lot of unintelligible gibberish! As it turns out, it actually was a lot of unintelligible gibberish! A fair bit of rock music of the mid 90s was like that, now that I think about it!
Like my all time favourite unintelligible lyrics, Nightcrawlers’ “Push The Feeling On”, which also turned out to have no real lyrics (but rather chopped up parts of a phrase).
The Doors: The End
Supposed to be “Of our elaborate plans, the end”
My misheard lyric never did make sense to me. I listened to that record hundreds of times trying to figure out what the correct words were. It took the invention of the internet for me to figure it out. Its still hard for me to hear the correct lyrics.
Later in the song:
That one is actually: “Doin’ a blue rock”
This one never worried me, I thought I had it correct until a couple of years ago. Now it sounds obvious.
I think I’ll have to go dig out the MFSL version of “The Doors” put it on the turntable and wake up the neighborhood now.
have you begun your Christmas shopping?
here’s the purrfect gift for “people at church, friends and congressmen”:
New Sheriff’s Kit came in today. Thank you MIKE VOLIN!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxKDtmSu8OY
I did my public duty, by ridiculing that racist turd.
yeah, that works better. I was totally lost reading the first version, but I got it immediately with this one :D. very clever both of you!!
Cute segment on CBC’s Q: The Podcast yesterday about the impending obsolescence of the mondegreen:
http://podcast.cbc.ca/mp3/podcasts/qpodcast_20141006_93237.mp3